Welcome @Flealee to these forums!
Im glad you have reached out.
It seems like the main barrier you are facing is resistance. This makes it really difficult. Firstly, is she happy with how things are going for her? Does she herself want things to change? If she is not willing for changes, it may be like talking to a wall. She is an adult which means she is ultimately responsible for her actions.
Another thing is that there may be underlying issues which need to be seen to before therapy for BPD can be effective. For example, if she is clinically depressed, she may need assistance with this first. Has she seen a health professional concerning her MH who can thoroughly go through who needs?
It sounds like you are trying to change things in the environment to help your sister. When you consider it, the environment does not change because of us. Rather, we need to change because of the environment. For example, if it is cold we can't tell the cold to go away. Instead, we need to make changes, such as put a jumper on, so that way can survive in the environment. I know you mean well by moving to different areas to help your sister, but have you considered that perhaps your sister needs to make changes to adapt to her environment? I think this is the root. If you can help your sister understand that she needs to work towards making changes, there might be a difference?
I have had BPD for over 15 years. When I wasn't ready to make changes, the more people tried to help, the more I resisted. If I was asked to take medication, I refused (not because the medicine wouldn't help my depression) because I wanted to be the one in control. When everything seemed to fail around me, and I had had enough of myself, I myself sought help. This was the beginning of my recovery.
Recovery is within your sister. Ultimately, she makes the call.
@Flealee , things sure sound tough at the moment. It is hard to sit back and watch someone close to you suffer. But she needs to be ready to put in the hard work to see changes. An intrinsic motivation to launch into the deep and try new things will make all the difference.
Please continue to reach out if you have any other questions.
I'm sorry if I could not help you.
All the best,
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