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Re: What to take for emotional pain?

Hi @Historylover .Smiley Happy

 

I've been reading through your posts, and, once again, I'm struck by how relatable your experiance and currant predicament is.

 

I could comment on an awful lot of what you've written, but I'd probably be just rehashing previous commentary I've made.

 

But one thing I really wanted to comment on, @Historylover , was this:

 


@Historylover wrote:

I don't think he would have been so careless as to leave me recovery room.


 

Nobody - but nobody - is so clever that they can design an infallable scheme. Somewhere, there must be a contingency that your therapist couldn't have accounted for.

 

I know he sold you hard on this image of himself as this brilliant figure. But he was a deciever, as you well know. And I'm sure that not only did he decieve you on his integrity, but also on the scale of his intelligence, as well. He wasn't infallable. He couldn't possibly be. Somewhere, he would've made mistakes; left doors open that he didn't even considder. Because nobody is so sharp as to anticipate every eventuality.

 

So, maybe a big part of finding hope, @Historylover , is to remember that your therapist was indeed fallable, and that, therefore, there must be weak points in his schemes for you? Weak points that, with a little pressure, could bring the whole house of cards crashing down?

 

I'm afraid I don't have any definitive answers for you. But I think the first stage of conquering any foe must be realizing that they are not unconquerable.

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

@AussieRecharger, thank you so much for your reply. It was heart warming.

 

I hurt so badly @AussieRecharger, so badly that I just want it to end. For the past 36 years, and more, I have tried everything to get my family, and tribe, to work together to form a cohesive group. We are completely de-tribalized and there are no allies to be found. There are no safe havens for any with problems and lives are falling to ruin. My patience had been endless. I have taken betrayals from people I have fought for – people I should have been able to rely on. I have separated myself from them to give them time to sort themselves out, done without most pleasures of life which should have been part of life's enjoyments that everyone has a right to. I have lived in a one-bedroom unit for 30 years surrounded by cardboard boxes of my life's experiences because I believed my family would sort itself out soon and it would save me re-packing it. 

 

My unit is looking lovely now and I have no-one to share it with. What am I supposed to do? I can't live without my family. It hurts too much to try to make a life without them because there simply isn't a life without them. They are my life. They are my reason for being.

 

I know my friends here are here for me as I have tried to be for them. I would not have been able to endure the past two years without everyone here. You have all been my lifeline. I just don't know how to endure more of this.

 

Still safe.

 

 

 

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

Thank you @outlander. It was lovely to hear from you. I hope things are becoming more manageable for you too. If only we had these understandings, and the ability to be heard in our distress, from those in our real world lives. Wouldn't the world be a much better place? Take care, my friend. Have a good day.

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

Morning @Historylover I am hearing a sense of helplessness and hopelessness at this time, sorry to hear things are so tough. Despite the difficult times it is great that you can reach out to your supports here on the forums. 

Please reach out to additional supports if that is Lifeline 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue 1300 22 4636 or Suicide Callback 1300 659 467 

I understand these services may not be able to fix the problem in one call but they are a place were you can share your troubles, and hopefully a space were you feel less isolated. 
Look after yourself, 

LouLouMagoo

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

@chibam 😊 I have posted to you already, but have now deleted it. I am in a state of total confusion, still trying to work this situation out. I'll write another time. Cheers, my friend.              

 

 

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

Thank you @LouLouMagoo. To be honest, here is the only place I feel understood, heard, less isolated and genuinely cared about. I feel a little better today and am plodding on. Cheers.

 

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

How are you doing today @Historylover ?  Any more clarity or still feeling lost? Do you feel you can relate to a historical figure when you think about your issues?

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

Nice to hear from you @AussieRecharger. I am feeling rather well today – in my spirits – but physically, I am absolutely exhausted. Trauma has that effect on me. I'm just trying to take things slowly and build myself up again. The last few months and weeks have been tumultuous here with the refurbishment, and perhaps it has taken a greater toll than I thought. 

 

What do you mean about relating to a historical figure?

 

I hope you're doing alright at the moment and things are going well? 

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

Thanks for asking @Historylover, I am doing pretty good.  It's been a long year but reflecting, I feel like I have met the challenges and kept moving forward.

 

On the historical figure, I was wondering if there was someone you look up to for their resilience, who you feel might have met the same level of challenges you have and overcome them.  I know your story is unique, and you are very much the writer of your own history, I am just wondering about who you felt you could relate to if you were to sit down with a historical figure and share stories. 

 

Take your time to get well @Historylover, as you said, Trauma is hard and from all your writing lately, you have had a lot of time in the trauma space.  I want to thank you for taking the time to share your trauma with us and also, while it has and is a hard period, thanks for reaching out to us for help during it. I for one, value when you are here and sharing your stories and your wisdom with us all. 

Take care and hope to hear from you soon. 

 

 

Re: What to take for emotional pain?

I'm pleased to hear you are doing alright, @AussieRecharger. I hope your life continues to improve and you are able to resolve the difficulties life has burdened you with. It's been a really trying year for everyone, hasn't it?

 

Unfortunately there is no-one I have to look up to. I wouldn't trust my judgement anymore anyway. I had my ex-psychiatrist and trusted him completely. The isolation he inflicted on me ensured I have no-one else. It doesn't matter anymore. I could spend my time looking for people to relate to in the real world but, for me, the disappointments would be more than I can take. I really have had all I can take. I simply plod on and try to make the best of each day. I have been used and abused for others' benefit all of my life. I thought I had someone who was helping me turn this around, but he was one of them. Their chief, it seems. Take care and stay well, @AussieRecharger. Cheers.

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