Lived Experience Forum

[DJC13]

I am not in a good space. I am feeling very frustrated and lost. I feel like everyone is doing better than me. I am just so unhappy.

[cloudcore]

Hi @DJC13 ,

Welcome to the forums. I hear your frustration and how lost you're feeling, it can be a really isolating space to sit in. I'm wondering how long you have been feeling this way? And if you have any supports around you?

I hope you find a supportive community here 

from cloudcore

[DJC13]

Hi 

I have been feeling this way for a while, I think it has been exascerbated by the lockdown and all the demands. But now that things are opening up again, I just am struggling. Today is especially difficult, I even feel physically unwell. I feel like I have moved 1000 steps backwards in my life whilst everyone else has moved forward significantly.

I do have some friends and a partner, but everyone's situation is different and I don't feel like I can relate to anyone. I feel terribly envious of everyone else lives and I am struggling to have the mental strength to make my life better. 

I don't know why I am feeling this way. There are things that I want in my life, but everything feels so difficult and meaningless.

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @DJC13 

Can you describe what it is that you are envious of?  When you are looking at everyone's achievements, how are you measuring their success, and why do you see them as moving forward?  What is forward to you and what are your measures of success?

[DJC13]

I just spent the past 20 minutes typing a response about what I am envious of. I deleted it.

10 years ago, I lost my son. I guess I have never dealt with it.

[DJC13]

Sorry I don't know why. I was typing all the things that I was envious of and then it just hit me.

I never really got the support I needed to deal with it.

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @DJC13 

I am sorry to hear about your loss and unfortunately, while I don't understand what you are specifically going through, I do know what it's like to understand how to recover from grief. It was a confusing couple of years for me. 

What do you need to grieve @DJC13?  

[DJC13]

That's a big question. I am not sure how to answer it.

[pinklollipop15]

Hi @DJC13 

Sorry to hear were feeling frustrated and lost. How are you going now?

[AussieRecharger]

Hey @DJC13 

Thats is completely fine that you don't know how to answer the question, especially since it feels like it might be the first time that you have asked yourself the question. 

One thing I want to let you know is that you are not alone in your grief and that grief is a good thing, it establishes the value of that person's contribution to our lives and I am sure your son would have made a huge contribution to who you are today with the impact he had on your life.  It's not about moving on because you never will want to move on from someone special in your life, but it is about the ability to find a way to move forward and keep the impact and light of that person's significance in your life going. 

I hope that makes sense to you and when you are ready, I would love to hear more about your son's impact on your life.