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Jessie21
Senior Contributor

Jessie21

Hi everyone, as you are aware I have posted previously under PTSD and Happy Mothers Day.  I am 70 years old female.  I was born out in the country with two older brothers and a Mum and Dad.  I would not say my life was completely bad and I can remember lots of good times too.  Life was a lot simpler in the country in the 50s and 60s.  My mum and Dad were not happy and argued a lot.  My Dad loved the pub and the pokies and I found not easy to get on with.  I now realise our parents went through 2nd world war and both had their demons.  My eldest brother by 6 years loved to bully and tease me. I found he was always very inappropriate towards me until he ended up sexually abusing me at 12.  So i disliked him and tried to keep out of his way.  My second brother was 4 years older then me and he was kind and gentle.  Unfortunately he died with my Dad in a MVA when I was 19. They were in the car in front of us so I actually saw the accident.  Which was traumatic for my mum and myself.  Because I had a two year old daughter and a 9 mth old baby I just had to pull myself together and do my job and be a good mother.  My mother needed me more then I was able to be therefore her.  It was very hard losing both a son and her husband.  My first husband and I moved a lot to further his career and I attempted to settle my kids in and attempt to study long distance in social work.  My husband then decided it might be a good idea to have an affair whilst I was 8 mths pregnant with our third child.  Again I tried to be there for my kids, postnatal depression and continuing to complete my degree.  I was a mess but some how I managed.   Divorce with two of my kids off at Uni I started my career in aged care where I worked for 30 years.  My values are strong on advocacy for my clients which often did not sit well with the organisations I worked for who though not for profit were really for profit to detriment of our clients.  I experienced agreat deal of bullying from my managers so would move on.  I married a wonderful man who had the care of his three daughters.   They a very supportive of each other and were demanding and often difficult to get on with.  I don’t know how I did it with my youngest son with attitude too and did not like his step sisters.  I would say my mental health is crap and I am highly protective of myself now.  So if you give me grief for no good reason then I will avoid that person.  Self care now for me.

6 REPLIES 6
tyme
Peer Support Worker

Re: Jessie21

Dear @Jessie21 ,

 

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to voice what you have shared tonight. 

 

I'm sorry to hear of the trauma you have faced in your life, but am comforted to know that you practice self-care and self-compassion. Your voice is important to us, because it may mean someone reading will feel that little bit less alone.

 

For some, this post may bring up some big feelings, or you may feel slightly uncomfortable. If so, I'd encourage you to reach out and speak to someone.

 

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Lifeline: 13 11 14 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

 

You can also access the SANE Australia drop in line available from 10am to 10pm AEST, Monday-Friday on 1800 187 263.

Take care @Jessie21 . I'm glad you have found us.

 

All the best,

tyme

Eve7
Community Guide

Re: Jessie21

Thank you for sharing your story @Jessie21  I can relate to a lot of what you shared.

 

I hope you stay around on the forums so we can get to know each other better.

 

Take care 💙

Re: Jessie21

@tyme Thank you for making me so welcome. I feel I have found my place to be listened too and believed. As you are aware we are moving into our over 55 luxury apartments on Monday. Exciting and everyone seem so friendly and happy. I am a bit of a crusader for unfairnesses and cruelty. My psychiatrist who I feel has a lot of respect for me he has advised me to continue self care and not to take up the batton for others care. 😳. I am still struggling mentally so the move is exhausting. Yesterday after helping my husband to pack and the removalists pack our precious items on the truck. I vacuumed, then collapsed on a mattress on the floor in an empty house to meditate and chill out. We are staying in a cabin near the river for a few days. Straight out of the 70’s. No wi fi, Foxtel. 🤪. My husband loves his NRL which he watches religiously. Such a good girl I wi fi my iPad to my phone and he was able to watch his footy. I went to bed and meditated and listened to music and slept 🥰😛

Re: Jessie21

That's some dreadful baggage you are carrying, @Jessie21. Life isn't meant to be so difficult is it? I'm not going to say "at least..." or any other 'cheerful' message. Trauma and difficult relationships are so heavy to bear. I'll just send my best wishes and hope there are many brighter days ahead. Cheers, and take good care of yourself. 

Re: Jessie21

@Jessie21 

I am glad you are finding the forum a decent place.  Wishing you the best in your move to the retirement village.  I can relate to your story of the vacuuming and collapse into meditation ... lol ... Sadly I can also relate to the trauma aspects of your story with a lot of loss, blended family complications and bullying.

Self care was a huge learning curve for me, as somehow I/we//many of us are programmed deeply to caring for others.  

Gently Bently

Apple

tyme
Peer Support Worker

Re: Jessie21

Thank you for sharing @Jessie21 ,

 

I can see the importance of self-care in your recovery. It is a reminder to me too! Just to lie down and meditate!

 

I certainly hope the ordeal of moving doesn’t stress you out too much. I don’t like moving either. The stress of seeing things everywhere seems like too much of a mountain.

 

All the best! Enjoy your time by the riverside too.

 

Take it easy - if boxes are left around for a while, well so be it!

 

tyme

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