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Dyl
Casual Contributor

I'm lost and wish i could end myself

I have had depression and anxiety since I was a kid I chose drugs and alchahol to numb the pain I finally got the drugs a few years ago and since my wife and I have lost 3 pregnancy's in 1 1/2 years my mother has stage 4 bowel cancer and I found out that my wife's father did things to her as a teenager and I was the first person she told I'm close to losing it and doing something irreversible 

16 REPLIES 16

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

Hi @Dyl , it sounds like you're under a huge amount of pressure and I'm really glad you've found this community for support. I'm going to reach out to you via email, please check your inbox (or your junk folder) and get back to me as soon as you can. 

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

Welcome, @Dyl , it's good you've joined, where people can understand what you're going through...

 

I want to commend you for coming off the drugs, that's incredibly difficult, well done.

 

I'm sorry to hear you want to end yourself though... Can I ask if you have any professional support, like a trusted GP, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist, or medication?

 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply to them.

 

 

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

@Dyl That's a hard place to be in and familiar to so many people here, please know you're not alone. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Your wife is very fortunate to have you to confide in and that must give her a great deal of comfort. It sounds like you both need some more support. What supports do you have in place at the moment? Please take care and I hope you will reach out to crisis support if it comes to that.

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

Hey thankyou I hope this works it feels like I'm running out of options for help haven't seen the email I will reply when I see it

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

Morning @Dyl,

Sorry to hear that things are feeling pretty tough for you at the moment. I'm really glad you found this community and a space to reach out to others. 

I've just checked our system and can confirm that an email was sent to the account you used when signing up to the Forums. I might send it to you again though in case it got lost somewhere along the way. We'll look forward to hearing from you soon.

Rhye ☘️

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

Hey sorry I didnt realise this replied to all first time using a forum so I'll try reply to all thanks everyone for the support I have tried multiple councilors that didnt change a thing and makes me feel uneasy I've tried GP's that just told me to quit smoking and drinking my family have there own problems and I want them to see me somewhat normal because I have always been the loser in our family I cant talk to my wife about it because it makes us both upset I really hope this helps I'm running out of options and sanity

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

That's all good @Dyl, no apology necessary.

It sounds like you've made some pretty valiant attempts at seeking professional supports, and it can be really tough to find a support person/therapist that clicks. I know there are many here in the community who can relate to that experience.

I've seen a few therapists over the years, some good and some less so, but I kept trying till I found one who was amazing. It's kind of like dating, sometimes you end up having to kiss a few frogs along the way 😊 My best advice would be to keep trying, because you deserve to find peace and contentment within yourself. 

Can I ask if there was something in particular you found difficult when finding a therapist? You mentioned that you've spoken to multiple counsellors and it didn't change anything, and I'm wondering if it might help to chat through what to expect when working with a counsellor, and/or thinking through what a good counsellor might look for you...would that help?

Rhye ☘️

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

I believe the reason I cant benefit from councilors or anyone for that matter is because in person I cant truthfully reply to questions I just try to say what I think they want to hear 

 

 

 

 

Re: I'm lost and wish i could end myself

Ah, yeah that would make things tricky! Have you tried telephone counselling? It might take away that face to face element and you could explore why that happens for you @Dyl 

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