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Welcome & getting started

Fallen02
New Contributor

First time here

Hi all.

I'm a 38yr old mum of 4, and I'm struggling with life.

I grew up with an emotionally distant mother, who caused my dad to be physically distant,  and and older brother who has substance abuse issues. 

When I was 10 my mum remarried into a family that was very loud at pointing out I started puberty fairy young and had a substantial bra size by the time I was 13, one of those family members abused me when I was 13 and my mums response when I went to her for help about it was thats I was " lying and attention seeking"

A few years later I became pregnant to my BF at the time, we stayed together for our child for a few years but then separated. When I was 20 met someone new and started a relationship,  I didn't take long for him to become abusive ( in every form) and at 34 weeks pregnant he convinced me to move to the other side of the country and away from all family and friends,  had that child and then another 12 months later.I then lost custody of eldest child due to his actions during custody battle, when youngest at the time was 2 I reconnected to a old friend via social media and he convinced me that I needed to leave that situation and that I deserved better. Which I did do.

We are now married and have a child together,  Child 2 and 3 have nothing to do with their father and class my husband as their dad,( eldest child is now an adult)which he is an amazing dad and a fantastic husband but he struggles to understand when I'm having really bad days, and thinks it's his fault for not being able to help me.

I've been on countless medications for several diagnosis and seen many many medical professionals but I always seem to crawl back into myself and shut off.

Anyone have any advice? And thank you for taking the time to read all this

2 REPLIES 2

Re: First time here

Hi and welcome, @Fallen02 , it's good to have you here. 

 

I'm sorry to hear what you've suffered in your life.

 

I have no advice, other than to find a good therapist...it sounds like you've had therapists before that may not have worked out? 

 

I have no advice about relationships or kids as I've never married or had kids. 

 

I hope someone will be along shortly who can help. 

 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and then click on a name in the drop-down box, that person will get a notification and won't miss your reply.

 

 

Re: First time here

Hi @Fallen02 It certainly seems you have been through a lot and presently it has all built up to a point where everything is hard to deal with. It is great you have found us here to support you but I would also encourage you to find a good therapist to work through all this with. It might also be good to find someone that can work with both you and your husband so he can understand better what you are dealing with and that it is not always possible to just 'fix' things. 

 

It seems you have a very loving partner but the past is holding you back - many of us here have had to deal with our past and find ways to move forward. It is not easy but it is possible. You have taken the first courageous step by reaching out here so welcome to the community.

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