Lived Experience Forum

[Walley]

I am new here and desperate for something. Help would be great. 

I have an acquired brain injury that came about 18yrs ago. Since then I re-educated, started a business, lost my identity, got a degree, and got a job. Now my government employer requires me to prove I have a disability before I get reasonable adjustments. So for Christmas they have offered me a termination letter I have to respond to.  During my down time, I have been carer to my 80's parents for the past two years, in which mum passed away last month. Dad wants me to move in, my brother accused me of interfering and then I was told I am only after his money. I actually helped pay off the house to save it from the bank. 

I even gave up everything so my crappy kid could get off drugs. She is 30 odd living in my home with her 2yr son. The house is in my partners name and he is thinking of selling up and leaving me to my family. The business is gone, my money is gone, my mum is gone and soon enough I will have no job and home.

So I go to a gp, it was hard getting one because I never get sick enough to warrant one, it had to be a new one. She and then he refuse to help. I actually said I can't cope and as much as I am not suicidal, I don't want to be here any more. I need help. So they both say I have to prove my abi before they will help. I get her to send me to a shrink assessment and then she says, too complex she can't help, so I go to him. He now won't treat me or get me a referral to a shrink because he needs proof of the abi. There are no records - I have tried. All I do is cry on and off all day. I am sick of ringing random people for help when all I get is told how to relax. Relaxing won't fix broken. July I have glowing reports about how much of a positive person I am, how helpful and curtious I am and now I can't do anything right. I can't even get into the physc ward because I am just overwhelmed by work stress. 

How do I feel normal again? 

[Zoe7]

That is a lot @Walley  It is hard enough living with a MI but adding on an ABI and all those losses and life just seems impossible. I have lost more people than I can count on one hand in the last 2 years and each one compounds the other. Sometimes it just feels too much and finding ways/things/reasons to go on seem impossible ...I hear you 

I find it very frustrating too to be told to 'relax' - don't you think if I could do that then I would!!!!!

This merry-go-round you are on with professionals is unacceptable. It is hard enough reaching out for help but when it is thrown back in your face it is demoralising - I am sorry this is happening for you.

There is a service you can connect with called griefline It is not just a service for dealing with the death of loved ones but for any loss you have in life. Might be worth a look to see how they can help you out. SANE helpcentre is another great option to find out the services you have in your area - unfortunately they are closed until Jan 4 so griefline might be the best option to start with.

Of course there is reaching out here as well (which you have bravely done). Happy to listen and sit with you this evening 

[Walley]

Thank you for understanding. Griefline help during the funeral preparations and burial process. They told me to get a mental health plan. Gp said he wanted proof of abi first.

[Zoe7]

It really sounds like you need to see a different GP @Walley Having an ABI should not affect you getting a MHCP - you are obviously in need of support and help and it seems this GP is not empathetic nor professional in their judgement. 

[chibam]

So sorry to hear about your struggles, @Walley .

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@Walley wrote:

So I go to a gp, it was hard getting one because I never get sick enough to warrant one, it had to be a new one. She and then he refuse to help. I actually said I can't cope and as much as I am not suicidal, I don't want to be here any more. I need help. So they both say I have to prove my abi before they will help. I get her to send me to a shrink assessment and then she says, too complex she can't help, so I go to him. He now won't treat me or get me a referral to a shrink because he needs proof of the abi. There are no records - I have tried. All I do is cry on and off all day. I am sick of ringing random people for help when all I get is told how to relax. Relaxing won't fix broken. July I have glowing reports about how much of a positive person I am, how helpful and curtious I am and now I can't do anything right. I can't even get into the physc ward because I am just overwhelmed by work stress. 

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What really gets me down is that dillemmas like this were always going to be a problem - and the government was warned about this, and did nothing to stop it.

When the Productivity Commission put out their report about mental health last year, there were tonnes of reccommendations for new services, but a lot of them were tied to the NDIS, meaning that they were likely to be blocked off to anyone who didn't meet some official criteria for being "disabled". And even for the people who actually are disabled, there would be an unreasonable amount of jumping through beaurocratic hoops (which means inevitable delays, as well) required in order to prove they are sufficiently disabled.

End result: so many people end up being unable to access services they desparately need, thanks to rediculous government red-taping.

They were warned.

I'm so sorry you've had to suffer the consequences of other peoples' short-sightedness, @Walley . It's not fair.

I wish I knew how to solve your problems, but unfortunately, I don't. I can only hope and pray that you (and so many more of us) can finally get off this beaurocratic merry-go-round and finally just get the help we really need.