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Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy? *CLOSED*

 

what does happiness mean.png

 

While the caring role can bring a great deal of satisfaction, it can sometimes lead to an imbalance where the Carer’s needs and emotional health are neglected.  This Topic Tuesday encourages you to reflect on how happy you are right now.  We will present current research and information, with practical ways you can increase your happiness, which you can incorporate into your current lifestyle.

Hit the LIKE button below if you're going to join us at 7pm AEST this Tuesday!

 

80 REPLIES 80

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

Welcome to the month's topic Tuesday @coffeegirl @Eagle @Linmerc @Rjb

and our special guest, registered psychologist @suzanne

Tonight we're talking about: do carers have the right to be happy?

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

Thought I might start off with an easy question for you @suzanne,

What makes people happy? (it's not an easy question at all, sorry!)

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

Hi Cherrybomb and hello Forum!

I hope that some carers join us tonight to say  'Yes we do have a right to happiness!'

I think we all have the right but I worry that there's something inherent in the caring role that discourages people from pursuing their own happiness.  A tendency to put the needs of others first.  

I've got lots of tips and research tonight to help shift the balance.  But first people need to decide that it's an important goal worth actively pursuing.

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

I find I hold on to the snippets of happiness I notice. That's enough. I look for those snippets and find them often but not as often as I would like.

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

love, balance, good health and achievement

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

You raise a really good point @suzanne about a carer's tendency to put other's need first. Can you tell me how this can be problematic?

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

It an important and worthy goal. Teach us more

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

In answer to your question @CherryBomb, can I first start with what doesn't make us happy?

There’s a lot of strong research around about the things that genuinely make people happy.  And they are not always what we would expect.  How many times have you heard someone say that a lottery win would make them really happy?

Funnily enough, lottery winners have been studied about as closely as lab rats.  And what we now know is that their happiness is only boosted for about six months.  After that first rush of euphoric shopping (McMansion anyone?) they settle back to their previous levels of happiness.  So if they were happy people to start with, they still will be.  But if they were not happy prior to the win, they will now be rich unhappy people.  Strange but true.

The reason for this is something called ‘hedonistic adaptation’.  It basically means that material things only make us happy temporarily.  Once we get used to having them, or notice that other people have things that are even better, they no longer make us happier than we were before. 

The upside of our ability to adapt is that we also return to previous happiness levels after something bad happens.  For example, there was a research project on a group of people recently diagnosed with kidney disease who needed 15 hours of dialysis a week.  Not a situation that we would expect to lead to much happiness.  But what the researchers found is that while the patient’s happiness levels dropped in the short-term, they came back to their pre-diagnosis levels within a few months.  We are remarkably adaptive creatures which is a great advantage when so much seems to be out of our control.

I reckon we can all think of examples from their own lives when something great hasn’t made us as happy as we expected or something tough didn’t bring us down for as long as they anticipated.

Re: Topic Tuesday tonight at 7pm AEST / Do carers have a right to be happy?

Hi @Rjb and @Bearcub

Welcome to the conversation! Smiley Very Happy

I love your point about snippets @Rjb, and @Bearcub also rasies very important points about balance and love. Can you share with us how you find this aspects in your caring roles?

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