29-05-2018 10:15 AM
We asked members what they would like to talk about for the next Topic Tuesday and here it is! Helping a loved one that doesn't want help. We will be talking about how to become better informed, managing frustrations and self care, support by listening and setting boundaries.
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26-06-2018 07:00 PM
Thanks for joining us tonight! This was a topic that was voted on recently by you, the community, to be discussed as a Topic Tuesday, so looking forward to getting into it.
In our capacity as a carer or supporter of a loved one, we can often feel quite helpless, lost or even frustrated at times when our loved one doesn’t want help. We can see that they are struggling, we can see how they can be helped possibly, we can see that they need to access help. But the key here is that the other person has to want help. This quote from the thoughtcatalog article makes a strong point:
The missing piece is that the other person has to want help. You can’t force them to believe anything is wrong — wrong enough to warrant some major changes in their life. 1) Change is scary and 2) Admitting you have may have huge innate flaws is scary.
Other reasons they may not want help:
These are just a few thoughts. Before we delve into ways to help, I thought to get us started we could share what you feel it is that stops your loved one wanting help?
26-06-2018 07:02 PM - edited 26-06-2018 07:05 PM
I think all of the above apply with my 16 year daughter, also she is dealing with PTSD and is taking her anger out on me as her abuser was my ex-partner.
26-06-2018 07:06 PM
26-06-2018 07:06 PM
26-06-2018 07:07 PM
As you can see I am new to this, I'm hoping it will provide some much needed support.
26-06-2018 07:09 PM
My first time on a forum. I'm really struggling to help my son who has just been admitted to hospital for the third time this year! It's the same cycle for a few years now, admitted to hospital, discharged, telling all concerned that he will take his meds and of course he dosen't as he won't accept he has anything wrong with him.
26-06-2018 07:09 PM
26-06-2018 07:10 PM
Welcome @HayleyC! Those kind of comments are so common aren't they? Simple words like 'I'm fine' when you know they are not fine can be difficult to come across. I hope you find some use out of what we discuss here tonight too
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