Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

my advice is to be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend if it was happening to them, I agree with this @dani2, @s-jay, @Elke, @Kezk

[Shaz51]

my advice is to be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend if it was happening to them, I agree with this @dani2, @s-jay, @Elke, @Kezk

[Kezk]

Yes @Shaz51, it is common to experience these feelings even when you are a step-parent. Can you tell us a little bit more about what this transition has been like for you?

[dani2]

Hi shaz i also became at step parent to my partners 10 yo son too and soon after was pregant.

[CheerBear]

I think 'unbottling' can be like releasing pressure @Elke. Reaching out and being able to be real about how I was feeling helped me to not feel so alone or like there was something wrong with me. I felt much more confident with my second baby knowing it was OK to be feeling and experiencing what I went through at times with my first.

My advice to people about to go through it all is that it is OK to not be OK, and that you dont have to go through it alone.

Hey @Shaz51 😊

[dani2]

My identity changed massively and quickly.. I was a single living in the city and going to gigs, travelling... i met my partner then was pregnant in 6 months living in the suburbs. so much change in the last 4 years of who i am... that took a bit to process

[Shaz51]

How are you going @dani2 with being a step mum  and a mum xx

I did some reading up about it first @Kezk, @Elke

and got  to know the children , there were a few ups and downs at first , but when I changed my attitude to theat the children don`t need another mum , things started to get better

Being their friend became more important

and to have my hubby and I to be a team but the children were his

[Shaz51]

My identity changed massively and quickly. too @dani2, @Kezk

I was single for a long time before meeting and getting married with 4 little ones

Hey @CheerBear

[s-jay]

Love that concept of "unbottling" @CheerBear thanks for sharing.

And @dani2, that is a lot of change for you to process, keep on reflecting and doing that selfcare you mentioned earlier!

[PANDA]

Thanks everyone for your contributions and for your willingness to share your stories.  These issues can be very difficult to discuss for many new parents so hopefully this session has shown that connecting and reaching out is so important during this huge transition.  We would like to just end with giving you some information from our website that we hope is helpful.  Thanks again and take care of yourselves so you can take care of your babies (whatever their age)!

PANDA Fact Sheets

Anxiety and Depression in Early Parenthood

Perinatal Anxiety and Depression in Men

Adjusting to the Challenges of Parenthood

Caring for Someone with Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

LGBTIQ Parents and Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

Recovery from Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

Wellbeing and Self Care

Talking to your Doctor

Please also feel free to access our mental health checklists:

https://www.panda.org.au/info-support/checklists

[dani2]

yes Shaz I had to do a lot of reading too, he is now 14 nothing could prepare me for step parenting a teenage boy!