Lived Experience Forum

[Good_Morning]

@Paperdaisy thank you for sharing this event. 
I didn't know it existed either @Judi9877 

I wish I could care react everyone's comments that I've liked. 
I have experienced these types of debilitating and frightening episodes too: I was diagnosed with schizoaffective when I was 16.

My first terrifying episode began late 2018, like @Rosie's 

I actually deleted emails yesterday that I sent early 2019 - I feel it was my way to move on from the past and start my road to a happier life.
I've found it difficult to forgive myself for the sadness and grief my family and friends hold, however I realise that their lack of forgiveness is a reflection of the pain they carry and I deserve happiness regardless of the past. Anyone that is worthy of my time will realise that I have worked hard to get where I am today and that it wasn't easy for me either.
I am so proud of how far I've come and I still have a long journey ahead of me, but I look forward to the future that lays ahead.

Thank you for taking the time to read my reply, 
stay strong 💌

[Anon1975]

@TideisTurning i supported the post and am replying here hopefully that means I have now joined?

[Paperdaisy]

Very true @Judi9877 Unfortunately we see a lot of the negative and not so much of the people in community who are functioning, cause they're just going about their business and not drawing attention to themselves. This is why we need to normalise having mental illness and functioning, thriving even! Thanks for sharing 💖

[Paperdaisy]

Thank you for sharing @greenpea 💝

[Paperdaisy]

I can't imagine what that was like @Good_Morning but it sounds like you are slowly picking up the pieces and doing what you can to move forward. You show great strength and you should be proud of how far you've come! Thank you for sharing your story so others can learn from you 😊

[Paperdaisy]

You are here @Anon1975 if you want to share anything 😊

[Anon1975]

@Paperdaisy @Good_Morning @greenpea @hanami @Judi9877   Hi.  Is there anyone here tonight?  How do people cope with the grief?  I have only recently accepted my diagnosis December 2021.  My mum has schizophrenia but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.  I am scared of my illness.  Very scared.  I was symptomatic at 42 and am now 46.  I have had a rough few weeks  and especially day yesterday with break through symptoms.  I’m scared.  I read somewhere that schizophrenia is a reduction of grey matter to the brain so a physical change, with grey matter reducing as we age.  I have had two suicide attempts in the midst of psychosis.  I’m scared.  I am religiously compliant with my treatment but after already losing so many friends and family I am scared of my life falling apart once more with this illness and losing the people that I do have in my life and being alone.  I am scared of being old, insane and lonely.  I don’t trust this illness and what more it can throw at me, and to be honest if it wasn’t for my two kids, I would make another wholehearted attempt because I don’t want to know what more this illness can throw at me.  I’m bawling my eyes out because I can’t escape it.  I do t want to ring anyone to talk about it because people get sick of it and leave you.  I don’t want to lose anyone else.

[greenpea]

@Anon1975  hugs hunny dont be scared,  it is one hell of a ride but you are not alone.💚

[tyme]

Hi @Anon1975 ,

Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with the community. You have been very brave in speaking out about your challenges with schizophrenia.

I hear your fears are so real for you. Have you spoken to your GP about this? Our bodies are constantly changing. This may mean medications may need changing too. When things don’t seem right, it’s good to speak to a specialist as early as possible before things get out of hand.

We are here for you. I’d really encourage you to share your fears with a professional.

Your children need you. You’ve already made huge progress in realising something is not right.

Take care,

tyme

[Paperdaisy]

I wanted to post this Topic Tuesday in here as I think it provides so much hope. Thank you @RiverSeal for being so open and sharing with us. You are an inspiration 💖

@greenpea @Anon1975 @Good_Morning @Rosie @Patchworks @Judi9877 @BPDSurvivor I know some of you participated so please ignore my tag if this isn't relevant to you.