Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[CherryBomb]

For many carers, finding joy in Christmas can seem like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. There's a lot to manage at this time of year - social gatherings, presents, family dynamics, and of course, caring for your loved one. This time of year can be tough. 

The festive season can get hampered by the challenges that come along with caring for someone who has a mental illness. What happens if they get unwell during this time? And where can you or they go for support when everything shuts down? How is possible to manage social events? 

Join this month's Topic Tuesday to discuss ways that you can get through the festive season, and perhaps even find some joy.

We'll discuss:

- developing a safety plan;

- managing expectations with your loved one and;

- provide information about availble services.

Click 'like' if you can make it.

[CherryBomb]

Welcome to this month's Topic Tuesday? How is everyone doing in the big lead up?

While the festive season, can be a fun and social, it can also be stressful. There’s the pressure of buying gifts, preparing food and catering for family, friends or visitors. Just because it’s ‘supposed’ to be fund, doesn’t mean it has to be. And it’s ok to have these feelings - Many people do! It’s stressful enough to manage as individuals yet alone caring for our loved one’s well-being. So tonight we’re going to discuss ways that you can prepare yourself for this time of year.

I wonder how people are going in their preparations for Christmas? How are you feeling? What do you have planned? Are you feeling prepared or overwhelmed? Please share your experiences. @Shaz51 @Former-Member and @marie1

[BeHappy]

I'm doing ok. Dreading the family gatherings LOL. How can I prepare for this @CherryBomb

[CherryBomb]

This is a great question @BeHappy. 

To prepare yourself it’s important to understand what causes stress around this time of year, which will help you unerstand how you can be prepared. May I ask what you are dreading about the family gathering(s)?

[BeHappy]

 I guess family conflict. It kind of seems inevitable. If not conflict then at least tension. My loved one tends to want to stay longer at gatherings, whereas I tire quickly and want to go home earlier. This in itself can create tension between us.

[CherryBomb]

Stress and anxiety over the Christmas period can heighten tensions between family members and/or friends. Set realistic expectations of yourself and others. Perhaps talk about expectations beforehand and issues that may arise. For instance, if you or your loved loved does not want to go to a social event, expecting that they will go for a whole day may be unrealistic. It may be helpful to negotiate, can you meet them at the event later if you feel up to it later, or perhaps you can both go for a set amount of time?

[Snoo]

I find social gatherings and spending time with people whom I wouldn't really spend time with any other time really awkward. 

[CherryBomb]

@Snoo While family events and mingling with people who you mightn’t want to spend time is often inevitable, try to spend time with others whose company you enjoy while you're. Do things with people you feel most comfortable with. Going on a walk with a favourite relative will help you get away and spend time with the person you would most like to.

[BeHappy]

Thanks @CherryBomb I will have a discussion with my loved one beforehand. 

I find that Christmas is great time for family conflict. Old issues seem to arise...

[Snoo]

Without sounding like a scrouge, I find that presents are a source of stress. My brother  has three kids, they are quite well-off. 

We are not. My brother's wife, month's before Christmas, gets in contact with me to tell me what I can get the kids, and my brother for Christmas. I find this frustrating. I know she is probably just trying to help me out by giving me some ideas, but I find it hard because it seems she doesn't understand what it's like for us. I usually just get the one present, and am expected to buy the whole family presents. I don't think I'd care if I was in a better financial situation.