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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

numb brain

Hi,

 

I've started taking my medication during the day and I'm now feeling really numbed out. Like my brain has gone totally numb. I wanted real sleep, proper undrugged sleep so doctors have said that to take my medication during the day is ok. I'm on small amount of medicine.

 

I'm unable to think or create. I'm published writer and recording musician. Its alot of hard work and long days alone but it's just what I've dedicated my life to doing.

 

 

I'm feling very ashamed of my diagnosis, schizophrenia, and even though the doctor says it is a spectrum disorder and that I am right at the beginning edge of the start of the spectrum I stll feel like I am defective.

 

I spent alot of growing up years hiding alot of myself from others, especially my feelings. I read alot of books and still read a lot of books.

I've continued this throughout my adult years and now it seems like I have so much more to hide that it's impossible for me to have any menaingful contact with anyone outside of clinicians.

I recently was given my doctors report to read and it made me feel like I am a criminal.

 

I have not ever spoken too much about my real feelings about things as I think that I will be punished for them, my family were not good with emotions and feelings, as supportive as they are.

 

1 REPLY 1

Re: numb brain

Hello @Former-Member 

Sorry about your sense of shame about your diagnosis.

Smiley Sad

My family were not great with emotions either and we have all had heavy diagnoses ...

that often changed ???

Smiley Sad

Keep at your creativity.

I have finally reduced my antipsychotics til only at night.  I have only been on them for 2 years and my pdoc is fine about titrating as long as I relate about it and adjust reasonably.

 

From the beginning I chose to treat psych meds as supplements.  I take a range as need, Vit B, iron, Glucosamine etc. I have been on antidep for over 20 years although I had almost completely come off them   Now I only have antidep and my supplements in the morning. At night I take a neuropleptic and fish oil.  As I am a mum I try and be considerate about the people around me and not undermedicate, but I sure as hell aint going to model for them over medication.

 

I found out from talking to another patient that it was best taking them at night.  Funny that. No psych doctor or nurse suggested that.  Now when I raise things the pdocs agree, but networking and learning from those with lived experience as well as "the experts" is important.

 

Dont give up.  There are heaps of young and creative people on this and other forums. I see this as a place with possibiltiies.

Heart

 

 

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