Lived Experience Forum

[Littlemiss]

I am a new single mother almost 30 with a 15 month old little monkey. Recently my daughter and I were kicked out of our home by her father with all of our things left behind and were forced to live on my dads couch. I'm now at the point where I can not stay here any longer. It's not suitable for my daughter or myself. She has no freedom to be a child or express herself. I don't know where to turn. I don't want us living on the street. I'm feeling I'm loosing control of everything. I'm struggling to keep a hold of myself and my world. How can we find strength? I have no friends to talk to and my daughter doesn't like many people and refuses to be away from my side. I feel I have nothing and no one. My daughter needs me to be strong, I'm just struggling drowning in all the darkness

[SimpleAsThis]

@Littlemiss

Im sorry to read about your current situation, and believe me I know how scared (among other things) you must be. But dont give up - Everything happens for a reason.

You should find out where your nearest Community Centre is and find out what they have to offer. Im sure they'd be able to help with housing for you and your daughter - as well as help with employment; couselling; community activities and confidence/self-esteem building etc.

Also, salvos may be able to help with housing - I know having a child with you makes you priority.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Littlemiss, 

what a difficult situation to be in. I'm a single mumma too, theyre 4 and 6 now, and its not easy but our kids are worth it 🙂

I'm wondering if you could contact some services in your area about your housing situation. AC Care helped me hugely when i had nowhere to go. They helped find a house, organised the bond to be paid through housing trust and were just wonderful. Another place to go to for advice and options would be to speak to housing people. Im not sure what state you are in but here HousingSA will pay your bond and sometimes the advance rent if you are in fanancial hardship and you can find a rental easier.

I can hear you feeling isolated, i get like that too. I find it really hard to reach out to people in the 'real world' and next to impossible to make friends or have people to talk to. I wnder if you would feel up to going to a playgroup or kindergym with your little one. I know how active they are at that age hehe and usually you just spend a lot of the time runnign after them, but you might find a few minutes just to have a chat about nothing with someone which might help or it could lead to new friends too 🙂 Libraries around SA also have rhyme time for babies where you can go and sing songs with your baby and other mums and babies. 

Glad you have come here, hope that things get a bit easier for you soon, 

LJ

[kristin]

Dear @Littlemiss

I'm so sorry to hear about this terribly difficult situation you are in. I'm sure if you post what state you are in (and a region too might help if you feel ok with that) someone here will know of some services that could help you. Perhaps the mods might have some suggestions too, I think @NikNik is on tonight. Nik can you help please?

Take care of you @Littlemiss . It is hard work when you have a small person, keep posting and reaching out for help.

Hope for a safe future endures...

Kindest regards, 

Kristin

[Littlemiss]

Thank you ladies. Getting it out there is a hard step to take.
I'd love to get my little one involved in play group or something similar but I really don't want to socialize with the parents as I just don't feel comfortable socializing (I struggle to find topics and not stuff my words) and it sets off my anxiety, I just try to focus on little one when it comes up.
I'm currently living in Victoria near Lilydale area. I'm happy to move away to a quieter place or whatever it takes. I'm worried about what I can afford and if I can get help.
I've never wanted to share my burden or problems with others but it's come to the point where the crying after little one goes to bed has gotten too much. I know I need help, she deserves the best and her mum needs to give it to her. I miss me.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Littlemiss

I totally get the idea of finding it hard to socialise with other parents. I remember the first mothers group i went to after my daughter was born, i walked into the room and they were all talking about how amazing their organic cloth nappies were and the best ways to clean them and their babies were dressed in the prettiest clothes all done up, the girls with flowery headbands and bracelets lol, my daughter was in a grey onsie and disposable nappy. my heart sank and i dont think i spoke at all that meeting and never went back! hehe however, i did find playgroups to be a bit different because I was more involved wiht your own child and busy with them because they're so busy, and the conversations usually revolved around what bub next to you just did (what a cute laugh, etc) and if i didnt feel up to that much chatting i could always just sit somewhere inconspicuous ish. But it was really good for bubs and good for me to see how other parents were engaging with their bubs. But such things arent for everyone and it might be something that you arent ready for right now.

Sounds like you are really aware of how you are feeling and ready to change things a bit which sounds great. I dont know much about victoria so i cant help much in terms of knowing what services are available, but i'm sure someone here will have a few ideas for you. Your bubba already has a great mum, you are asking for help and talking about it! Hope youve had a good mothers day!

LJ

[NikNik]

Hi @Littlemiss

Welcome to the Forums. It's such a wonderful community of people here who have been through a variety of experiences, but as you can see, everyone is so supportive and want help regardless of the situation.

I stumbled upon  Anchor Inc http://www.anchorservices.com.au/ and also a list of other services that may be able to help http://www.unitingcareharrison.org.au/crisisaccommodation.html

It's heart breaking to read that you are in tears after your little ones go to bed. There is help out there though and it's important to look after yourself - whether that be seeing a GP, going to a service like Anchor, a Community Centre and/or calling someone like Lifeline (13 11 14) - keep reaching out for support.

& keep on coming here too - like I said, it's a great community of people who are here to listen.

Take care

[kristin]

Dear @Littlemiss

I can totally relate to what you are feeling about playgroup - I really struggled enormously with this too. I ended up doing a year of supported playgroup (I can't remember the name but it will come to me), but struggled with that. I laearned a lot about parenting though, and the playgroup leader was lovely. If you think you might do this with support (down the track) you could ask whoever Child First refer you to (it will be Anglicare or, I think, Uniting Care).

Ok some numbers you can try, to get some help:

Child First (Yarra Ranges shire) 1300 369 146

I'm not sure what the lead up was to being forced out of your home but you might try-

Safe Futures 9811 0311 (if domestic violence was what/part of what precipitated it) they are fantastic

Again not sure if you have had long-term MI or have been diagnosed but the Outer East Mental Health Community Intake (run by EACH) is 1300 785 358

I see Nik has given you Anchor's details.

I will see what else I can find out. We used to have a referral service up here in the valley (I'm not sure whether it's still going, but one of my friends was the person who looked after that - so I'll ask her if she has any other suggetions).

Best of luck with it all. Take care of you. 

Hope for a place to call home endures...

Kindest regards, 

Kristin

PS If you get the chance I would encourage you to try to find this book at the library - it's called Spirit of Hope by Bob Graham, you can read it to your little one too. It helped me keep going through a lot of difficult stuff, including nearly winding up homeless with my 3 kids.