Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

OhanaSystem
Senior Contributor

When the therapist is away....

I'm bad at honesty, when said honesty means admitting I'm not travelling great. I rely on my therapist to recognise the signs that things might be taking a turn for the worse, but she's just gone on six weeks leave. I saw my back up guy today, and he's great and i specifically requested him, but like, I suck at saying I might need help. SO I saw him today and I wanted to say some things but I couldn't. So I didn't say much -- it wasn't a session, I was getting my depot needle -- and I treid to indicate that maybe "everything's fine" might be an overstatement, but he missed it entirely. Now I have to wait until next Friday to talk to him.

16 REPLIES 16

Re: When the therapist is away....

Hey there @OhanaSystem 🙂

Interestingly your statement around bad about being honest evokes such an honest post! I like your honesty @OhanaSystem 🙂 I hear that you can find it difficult to speak your honesty at times, is that also directly related to helathcare professionals? 

After reading your post it got me thinking about ways in which you feel most comfortable to share your honesty? Do you find it easier to write as apposed to speaking it? Something to perhaps think about. What can I do to help support myself to feel most comfortable to share this honesty I want them to hear.

Hope this helps in a small way 🙂

Re: When the therapist is away....

Hi @Pebbles, thank you for replying.

Honestly, I think I have trouble with saying I'm not fine anywhere but the internet -- and even there, it can be patchy. Anywhere people actually know me, probably, is the problem. And it's so *easy* for me to hide behind a facade, I'm really good at it.

I think I need to remind him that I'm no good at saying "I am struggling" until I'm hitting crisis.

Re: When the therapist is away....

Heart @OhanaSystem

That's what I do, say that I'm not coping when my world's falling apart and my mental health is deteriorating.

Part of me wants/needs to feel in control and if that means lying by saying that everything's hunky dory and I can cope with everything, that's what I do.

And then I fall apart.

Doesn't help anyone, I know.

Thinking of you.

Re: When the therapist is away....

@NatalieS tjank you for your reply

I'm sorry you do this too! It's so hard sometimes. I just want to yell at myself because I know I needed to talk, and I"ve cheated myself out of the opportunity to do that for a whole other week, and now I don't know how to cope with that in a healthy way. Well, I do, but I don't know how to move past the ugliness to be willing to cope in a properly healthy way. All because I was too stubborn and 'me' to say, Steven, I need you to hear that I'm having a harder time than I've said, and if you have time, I could do with at least a quick catch up today.

Re: When the therapist is away....

Can relate @OhanaSystem @NatalieS though I hadn't really thought about it in terms of honesty. I sometimes don't want to acknowledge I'm struggling because then I'll completely fall apart. I don't admit it to myself and just struggle harder to try and make things how they 'should' be. Generally futile, if not counterproductive. I'm getting better are recognizing the signs and knowing when intervention is needed. At least you recognize it @OhanaSystem That's a start.

Re: When the therapist is away....

Hi @OhanaSystem, I can so relate to what you are going through. I am like this with lots of people and used to say the same to my psych. I think the first 3 months were wasting mine and his time because I would just say I'm fine.

I really struggled (and still do) to open up to people, but am getting better.

Pebbles is right about writing it down and that is how I started. Have you got their email address? I email my psych before our sessions with what I need to tell him, how I am travelling and anything I really want to discuss. This has helped me open up to him and allow him to help me in my journey.

 

Re: When the therapist is away....

Thanks @frog.

Yep, I definitely recognise it. Usually when I'm a little ways down the rabbit hole, though. My facade is so good it tricks me, too.
I can totally understand not wanting to say something in case it makes you totally fall apart. In my case, it's the opposite. Not saying it makes me totally come to pieces, generally, but I still can't bring myself to do it.

 

 

Tonight I am really kicking myself. I really needed that support because I've got some stuff going on in my head that I really need out of there. I need to talk talk talk talk. Not that I am very good at that but I needed to at least try.I am prepared with some poems for when he asks more on Friday about the upcoming trigger date/s I mentioned, at least.

Re: When the therapist is away....

Thanks @Snowie. Emailing is such a great idea! I might ask if I can do that with him, just while S is away, because she is more intuitive (by both position and nature, I think) in terms of understanding what "I'm fine" means. I have to be careful, though, because I have been caught before by material being "reportable" and a big kerfuffle over that where nobody was sure whether I was going to be forced to report stuff or not. In the end it worked out, but I don't want to go through that stress again. My usual is really good about making minimal notes to protect all her trauma clients in the event of reporting or whatnot.

Re: When the therapist is away....

Hey everyone. I struggle with being honest about not doing well/feeling well in myself. I usually just tell people “I’m fine”. Unfortunately, I’m so good at it people believe me. Even my doctor. 

I’m so much more honest in writing. I just find it takes the pressure off finding the right words to say.

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance