Lived Experience Forum

[M_P90]

I was working full time in a very demanding "caring profession." I was not afforded the same care expected of me towards clients: compassion, understanding, flexibility. What's more, I was witnessing unsafe work practices and increasingly becoming concerned the welfare of clients and staff. I had so much responsibility and knew if something went wrong, my head was on the chop. I asked for additional training and support and was declined this. I don't think many could have survived this, and didn't (dozens of colleagues were resigning each month). I have a history of mental health issues and complex trauma to make it *that* much harder to cope. I asked for an urgent reduction in hours and responsibilities with the support of medical professionals but was "strung out" (i.e. given no response) to the point I had to resign as my mental health had detoriated to such an extent.

I had a big collapse. In the past 5 years alone, my father suddenly passed away, and I escaped domestic violence. When you escape domestic violence, you also lose most of your social networks. I've been really isolated ever since. I was still working through all this turmoil. One thing keeping me going was my values of social justice. I was ousted out of another organisation after trying to report what turned out to be a fraudster (this person is now in prison). At the time, I wasn't believed and the fraudster launched baseless accusations I was bullying her. I've had my integrity pushed to its limits.

I'm only applying for part time positions and vetting these roles carefully. I can't be crushed one more time or I might not make it out. I feel how fragile things are for me right now. It does mean I'm spending long unstructured hours alone every day until the right thing comes along. I've had one interview and had to sleep for like 10 hours after the effort of that.. Most days getting out of bed is a mission. The interview did go well but nothing is certain. 

I've been drinking alone and it can make me suicidal so I am trying not to do that. But, wow it's just so hard to work up the energy to do anything. Most things I've forced myself to do haven't elicited a great deal of positive emotion. Over the past 6 months, I really lost interest in stuff and really stopped spending time with people. 

How to survive this?

I have mental health professionals involved but most of you would know that's not the "magic bullet".

[Appleblossom]

Hello @M_P90 

Welcome to the forum

Sounds as if you have a lot of strengths and resilience to function in that environment at all.  Yea I know about social isolation and DVA.

Cheers Apple

[Lilaca]

@M_P90 

I understand there isn't enough law protection for whistleblowers. All whistleblowers are in the same boat really, so know that you aren't the only one. I had been one too and both HR and I had to resign and the perpetrator managed to stay. Though I heard someone has more success reporting the case to the union than someone in the same organisation. HR will be oppressed by the authority in the same organisation, while union acts as a third party intervening and reporting any unlawful acts to the police. 

Whenever I am in between jobs or have plenty of free time, I would try to do something routine and simple such as taking new classes, going to events, cooking 1 new recipe a day, drawing 1 illustrsation a day and have alternate outdoor/indoor exercise days. It's just something fun to spice up my day. 

I work in the community sector too and I remembered our teacher used to remind us that in this industry, we should refrain from alcohol, smokos and please no sexual relation with clients. 😄 Not to be judgemental, but it's good to replace alcohol with smoothies or juices. Just play around with 1 new recipe each day and invite friends or neighbours over to try your new homemade beverage. Perhaps over a barbecue too.   

You have been in the industry for so long, just take this break as a long deserved vacation. Hope you feel better soon. 🙂