Lived Experience Forum

[Peri]

Hi @Anastasia @outlander @Emelia8 @Eve7 @Former-Member ,

saturday night and I am feeling particularly low. I let myself down badly last night and am worried that I am stuck being this crappy person who I don’t want to be.  I feel sad and alone and lonely. I don’t want to be me anymore . I feel so very alone. 

I know my sons love me, but it is a long time since I have felt the centre of someone’s life and important or special. I am not looking for a relationship, but I miss the being part of someone else’s life

peri

[outlander]

@Peri 🌷💜

[Eve7]

I am sorry you are alone @Peri  that makes life very hard.

You have a beautiful kind heart, please don’t give up. You are precious to us here.

💜💖💜

[Anastasia]

Oh @Peri I hear you.

I'm sorry you feel that you let yourself down. We all do that at times, you're human. To err is to human. Try to forgive yourself, can you do that? Not easy but doable?

As for being alone, I hear you, I've been there at it's awful at times but beautiful at others. A double edge sword. Lonely is not a nice feeling Peri is it? I'm sitting with you, I like your company and think you have an absolute heart of gold. I'm not leaving you. I've made us a cuppa  💞☕☕

[Emelia8]

Hello dear @Peri 😊💕🍀

Thought I'd drop by and bring you breakfast in bed and a nice hot coffee to begin your day. And to stay and keep you company for a while if you'd like?

I tend to agree about the snap 5 day lockdown being a bit of an over reaction in WA. But the WA govt seem to be on the elimination policy rather than containment. So I guess it was expected. Yes .. just one case, and lockdown for so many. Thankfully there have been no other cases, and you have now reopened again. It must be a relief for the WA people.

Do you have one of those icecream makers? I've often thought it would be nice to have one.

Really sorry last night was a particularly low mood one for you. Is that due to you having let yourself down so badly the night before? Please try not to be too hard on yourself Peri.

It is human nature Peri to be part of a pair. We are social creatures by nature, and need human interaction. So what you are feeling, about needing to be part of someone else's life, is very real and very understandable.

To be needed or wanted, and to feel important or special to someone, is a very human need and something we all crave.

Its easy to say that your sons, extended family and your granddaughter all need and love you. Which I'm quite sure they do. But I think we all crave more than that.

I wish I could encourage you to make enquiries about getting back into some form of casual or part time work. Either paid work or volunteer work. I truly believe you would benefit greatly in doing something like that. You have so much to offer, and you have always been such a giving person. And besides giving you the satisfaction of doing something worthwhile, it will also provide social interaction with the outside world.

Okay, so I will leave it at that for now. Its only 7.15am in WA. So you may not even be awake yet. But if you wish to chat later, please tag me. I hope to be around most of the day. I hope today is a better one for you.

Hi also @Anastasia @Eve7 @outlander @Appleblossom

Emelia 😊💕

[Emelia8]

Dear @Peri 

You've been pretty quiet since your post here last Saturday.  And I guess I'm a little worried about you given what you said in your post.  So I thought I'd drop in and say hello, and check that you're okay.  Are you?  Okay, that is.

Sending some love and light your way, and the strength to go on when life gets tough. 

Love from

Emelia 🤗💞🐶

[Peri]

Dear @Emelia8 ,

thank you for thinking of me.  I am ok. I feel very anxious, but otherwise I am ok.  We are having cooler weather here at the moment which is lovely. Though I feel for the people who were affected by the bushfires.

i hope little holly continues to do well. And also that you are relaxed after finishing all that driving to and fro for radiotherapy.  

It is now much much later than when I started this, I tried to post and it would not work!

i had a lovely chat to one of my sisters today. She is a lovely, gentle person.  The only one of us all who our mother described as dodging the bullet. The bullet being mental health issues, depression in particular. Our mother had 8 children all up, so that is rather concerning in itself, one had died in childhood, so that meant that by then 6 of us had mental health issues with periods of serious depression. Speaking with this sister always cheers me, as even if she is sad she can still see the positives in life and laugh.   I don’t know why I brought that up, but just hearing her voice was good for me.

i hope that you sleep well and have a good day tomorrow 

love to you Em

peri

[Anastasia]

Hello @Peri 

I am happy to hear you have such a beautiful bond with your sister, that warms my heart. Thinking of you dear Peri, hoping that you are ok?

 

[Emelia8]

Dear @Peri 

Sorry to hear your anxiety has been high lately.  Cooler weather sounds lovely, long periods of super hot weather really is very draining. Yes the bushfires have been very bad in WA this year.  The East coast had their turn last year, but seem to have escaped it this year due to some timely rain.

Yes thanks, Holly continues to improve, as do I.  I see my medical oncologist tomorrow and will discuss with her the oral chemo pills, and whether or not I continue on them.

I am so happy for you that you had such a nice chat with your sister.  She sounds like a true delight and I am very glad that you have her in your life to add a bit of sparkle and positivity.  Along with your darling little granddaughter of course.

Just a short one for now, I have to go get a cuppa ready now.  Will check back in with you again in coming days, to see how you are doing this week.

Much love to you,

Emelia 💕🤗🐶

[Peri]

Thank you , peri