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Something’s not right

Eden1919
Senior Contributor

This can't be real right.....?

I keep thinking that well actually part of this isnt new but there are "others" who kind of share my head in a way... not that they are in there like another person but they can exchange thoughts with me and they put stuff in my head but they have "bodies" outside of mine anyway the new thing is that I feel like people are reading/are listening to my thoughts but not like the other things because they arent people and i am used to them i guess but now i feel like human beings are listening in to my thoughts so i keep having to mentally apologise if i get a bad thought because i feel like they can hear it and idk who it is that is listening but i feel kind of just like i am being monitored by some outside hidden group of people...... but people cant do that right.............? 

11 REPLIES 11

Re: This can't be real right.....?

Hey @Eden1919, I'm glad you started this thread and you posted about what's been going on for you. Have you talked to anyone else about this experience of a hidden group of people that you have to apologise to? You say 'this isn't new', do you want to talk a bit more about that?

 

If you areup for it, you could call our helpline tonight - 1800 187 263, if you wanted to talk 1:1 with someone about it or when do you have a catch up with one of your other health professionals next?

 

Just wanted to make sure I dropped in to let you know it's a really good thing you are talking about this stuff... keep going...

 

 

Re: This can't be real right.....?

@s-jay  um well the other non human things in my head have been there for pretty much as long as i remember but they go through phases of how intensely they are around..... but the hidden group of people is a new thing. and no i havent spoken to anyone about them i kind of dont want to speak to anyone face to face about it because that makes me scared they will over react. this isnt super terrible but it is annoying having to constantly watch myself even more than ususal. but i get scared if i tell someone it will make them think i need meds again which i dont and will never do ever again but i get scared because of what has happened in the past. 

Re: This can't be real right.....?

Hi @Eden1919 it sounds super tiring having to monitor your thoughts and apologize. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope you get some down time and sleep. Take care.

Re: This can't be real right.....?

@Eden1919  Hi Eden1919 one thing that has struck me with your posts is how aware you are when things are not 'normal'. You have this ability to know that what your are experiencing is not right which leads me to believe that you are not totally manic or delusional. Which is great. When things like that happen to me particularly in the past I am/was totally unaware of the experiences being fantastical. 

 

That being said it would be a great thing I think to talk with your psychologist (when your appointment comes up - I think it is quite a wait:() because it is always good to talk about these kinds of things. It helps put these thoughts into perspective.

 

And you are right people cannot listen to what is going on in your head. It is your private realm so you have nothing to fear.xxxx

 

 

Re: This can't be real right.....?

Hi @Eden1919 

 

I read a lot of your threads - I hope I get most of them - and I find what you write interesting and agree with you that you really need to speak to a sympathetic therapist and it seems wrong that this is so hard for you to find right now

 

However - regarding this thread about people's thoughts etc - we do share each other's thinking when we are talking to people and when we listen to them but there is no way anyone can read our thoughts just by trying to listen to them when we don't speak - it concerns me that this is a problem for you because I feel pretty much you are very much alone and this would be a scary issue for you

 

Sometimes we do indicate what we might be thinking through our body language and facial expressions - this is in no way supernatural and the person might interpret what we are thinking or feeling quite wrongly - which is one reason for talking to each other - to share our thoughts openly and naturally

 

I really do hope you can find a therapist quickly - one thing I could suggest is that you keep your writing to the same thread and I could at least get an idea of your story - I don't think there is anything wrong with opening a new thread with each idea - however I do find your ideas interesting even if I don't often have something to contribute

 

Being alone in the world is a hard place to be - especially if we find it hard to articulate our thoughts - some people do it really naturally - others have to work at it

 

How long is it since you saw a therapist? Have you any idea how long you might have to wait? It's really difficult for you when you have so much on your mind

 

But rest assured - no one can hear what you are thinking about - our deep inner life is really private - which it should be - I think you are deeply empathetic too - and I wish you the best

 

Dec

Re: This can't be real right.....?

@greenpea  it isnt that i personally dont think people can listen but it is more that i know here most people dont. but personally i still think it is something that is possible.... like yeah i know that things are different but that is mostly because i am super hypervigilant 24/7 but also idk it is just even if i know other people dont share the belief i still believe it but i am mostly asking because i never truly know which dimension i am in and i much prefer to blend in with which ever one it is and if i talk to others enough then i can just "play the game by  their rules" it doesnt really matter if i know/think something is real or not because i am just trying not to get hurt again so i have to blend and if that means pretending i think something then so be it. 

 

@Owlunar  I am supposed to be seeing a psychologist next week but it has been 8 months without talking to anyone. only it would be the first session so i am not likely to be able to talk about anything even in the off chance that i trusted this person enough and that they were a good fit anyway. idk i just cant trust anyone in the mental health professional industry because of what happened. 

 

also on a slightly related note i am pretty sure there is a dead witch following me cause i have seen her shadow running away and she has a cat so idk if it is her listening or other other people. 

Re: This can't be real right.....?

I think I understand @Eden1919 

 

It will take time to get to know your therapist - do your best to get to know them and find out what's the best thing for you

 

It's been a long time - I hope it works out well for you

 

Dec

Re: This can't be real right.....?

It's been a long time - I hope it works out well for you @Eden1919 

we are here for you my friend xx

@Owlunar, @frog , @greenpea , @Whitehawk 

Re: This can't be real right.....?

I feel really weird today and idk how to describe it but it isnt comfortable. I am still having trouble with this stuff but also other things and idk i feel very restless. 

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