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leaf16
New Contributor

Supporting My Boyfriend

My boyfriend recently told me he has depression.

I encouraged him to see a counsellor and now he does once every week. He has also been to a professional naturopath - he has changed his diet and will be getting medication soon.

I love my boyfriend very much and get concerned about his wellbeing every day. Though he isn't suicidal, he is constantly feeling lonely/sad/unwanted and he told me he feels like he doesnt belong here. I constantly give him all my support day to day but he is sensitive to everything I say and when something's wrong, he pushes me away.

How can i support him in the best way possible? This is so hard for me because I always seem to get the blame for the most minor of things and when he pushes me away I know he doesnt mean to - but it still hurts.

I am a positive person and try to see the good in every situation, but i am finding it harder and harder to do this every day. I want the happiness back in both our lives again!

Comments and suggestions would be much appriciated!

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Supporting My Boyfriend

Welcome @leaf16

@Spana29@Missy112, and @hippyjingle67 also post similar concerns about supporting their partners with depression, feel free to ask them a question, (just by using the @ symbol before their name) or follow one of their conversations here;

http://saneforums.org/t5/Our-stories/Living-with-a-depressed-husband/m-p/16541/highlight/true#M995

Great you are help seeking early, because as you are quickly learning, caring can be emotionally and physically exhausting.

best wishesSmiley Wink

Re: Supporting My Boyfriend

Thankyou for your reccommedations !

Much appriciated 🙂

Re: Supporting My Boyfriend

Hi @leaf16

Welcome to the forums and thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with us 🙂

 

The support of family and friends can have a really positive impact on people’s recovery, and it sounds like you are doing a great job just ‘being there’ for your boyfriend… In saying this, supporting someone who is living with depression is not always easy and it is really important to acknowledge your own limitations. I am so glad you have stumbled upon these forums... everyone needs support – carers included – so as a community, I hope we can ‘be there’ for you.

 

It is good to hear that your boyfriend has been taking some steps towards recovery (e.g., seeing a counsellor, visiting a naturopath, considering medication options, etc). Hopefully soon he can settle into a support plan that works well for him.

 

From your post it sounds like you are feeling pretty exhausted… like this situation is taking a toll on you. That is such a common experience, so I’d just like to really empower you to remember to take care of yourself as well 🙂 It is quite common for people who are caring for someone else to put their own needs aside.  Have you ever considering plugging into any carers’ organisations?


Carers’ organisations can provide practical, financial and emotional support to people who care for someone with a mental illness. These organisations can offer support through a range of services, such as counselling, peer-led programs and workshops, respite and social interaction. 
 
If you are interested, you might consider contacting the following agencies for this support: 
 
ARAFEMI
Phone: 1300 550 265 
Website: www.arafemi.org.au
Promotes the well-being of people affected by mental illness, their families and carers through a variety of services and programs that focus on recovery, respect, inclusion, participation and awareness.  
 
Carers Australia
Phone: 1800 242 636
Website: http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/
Provides practical, financial and emotional support to carers through counselling, respite and support, education and training, workshops, and so forth.  

 

I hope these suggestions are helpful… and know that as a community, we are here for you too.

 

Stay cool,

Mosaic.

Re: Supporting My Boyfriend

Hi @leaf16

 

You have come to the right place 🙂

 

@Mosaic gave some great recommendation of organisations for carers. The more support YOU can get, the better.

 

It's great that your boyfriend is seeing a counsellor. Would he be open to you joining him for a session and sharing what you have shared with us? Couples counselling is really helpful. There's an objective person who can give each of you insights into what each other is experiencing. It can also help to make some agreements on how you will work together to get through the tough times.

 

Is this something you have looked into before?

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