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Something’s not right

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Senior Contributor

Son2

Hi everyone something happened last night with son2. It has been coming for awhile and no one is surprised least of all me as I have been makint excuses  for months now .... one of his voices threatened me in a very violent way. Luckily he could talk the voice down and my daughter was here but nonetheless it has made me realise that son2 will have to go to a group home in the near future.

 

He is too big for me to handle when he gets out of control angry and the voices are at him. It just makes me sad that I will never be able to fix him. He will always have these nasty voices at him regardless of medications. He will never be totally free and will always be paranoid and thinking his family are out to get him.

 

It is so unfair. I could kid myself when he was younger that I could fix his problems. But it is impossible. I can't make it better and being a mum you are meant to be able to fix things for your children and I cannot. I feel a total failure...

 

It just hurts so much. Thinking bad thoughts tonight. Bad thoughts are surrounding me. Life shouldnt hold so much pain.

134 REPLIES 134
Senior Contributor

Re: Son2

Hugs @greenpea ❤️❤️❤️

You need to be safe. I am so sorry that this has happened. It must be so difficult. Thinking of you. 

Re: Son2

Sending you lots of love and good thoughts @greenpea. You will get through it. We are here for you. 

Re: Son2

@Gazza75  Thank you Gazza75 for your quick reply. I really needed it Smiley Sad. I know I have to be safe but my heart tells me otherwise. He is my son and he is sick and I cannot fix his illness and it breaks my heart. Smiley Sad

Re: Son2

hey @greenpea
that sounds really difficult, im sorry Smiley Sad
I don't know what might be helpful but im here and listening. your safety matters too and you are a great mum. just because your son unfortunalty has a mh condition doesn't mean you've failed.
Can you do something for yourself to help with your bad thoughts?
sending hugs Heart

Re: Son2

@outlander  Thank you outlander for your kind words really appreciate them. I don't know it is heart breaking. He is so vulnerable and yet so dangerous too it is so hard ... I really dont want to do anything but hurt myself Smiley Sad

Re: Son2

Your welcome @greenpea.. Will catch up with you tomorrow  I am sure you have done everything you can and then some. 

 

You are a super mum. And son 2 is blessed to have you  ❤️❤️❤️🌻

 

Hey @outlander ') 

Re: Son2

@Gazza75 Nite Gazza75. 

Re: Son2

@greenpea
not wanting to do anything but hurt yourself is a really hard place to be in. I can definently see how it would be heartbreaking but please don't go blaming yourself. Sometimes its the nature of mental health and its bloody awful to watch our loved ones suffer from them.

do you think you can keep yourself safe? im not going anywhere so can keep chatting here if that is helpful?
do you have any coping strategies that is normally helpful?


hello @Gazza75

Re: Son2

Hi there @greenpea 

Whitehawk here, the moderator. I am sorry to learn that you are in a very hard place this evening. I really hope that you can find some alternatives to hurting yourself.  off the forum I will send you an email to offer you some support.  We are all very much in your corner this evening.

 

warmest regards

Whitehawk

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