Lived Experience Forum

[Slybaby]

i thought getting a job willmake me feel better. I also thought i will getalong fine. But every day i feel anxious going to work to the point of feeling nauseous. I pretty much survived this 3weeks because i was taking benzo. My therapist says that i should stop working. But i feel shit when im not doing anything or not working. Im thinking pf getting a job that i am working alone which i have done in the past and i was completly happy.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Slybaby im sorry to hear that you're struggling so much with your new job. I can relate as i'm so anxious about and at work at the momen too, but not sure i could handle a job where i worked alone either because i feel so lonely a lot of the time. Does anything other than medication help you to deal with the anxiousness? Like you I don't think that sitting at home thinking is good for me either.. at least work is a bit of a distraction from other things in my life and inner turmoil. 

How are you doing?

LJ

[Emily]

If working makes you feel better I don't think you should stop. For me working is always a pillar to my mental health. I think your therapist should be looking at ways to help you with your anxiety not encouraging you to avoid it.  

My own personal experience is that things tend to improve after a month or two in, when everything stops feeling so new. I hope this improves for you too. Do what you think makes you happy, and if thats working alone then go for it.

[Slybaby]

@Former-Member @Emily my therapist was very supportive but she was saying that i am not well and i should take rest from working because its making me very depressed. And yes i am happy working alone. do you guys deal with social anxiety as well? Often i am just quiet like im just there existing but i am not part of the team like no one knows i exist because i am so quiet and i dont joke around or anything. Thank you for your responses. I always feel better in here.

[Emily]

That makes a bit more sense about your therapist.

I have social anxiety and I do notice it daily, but not as much anymore. I certainly don't get nauseous going to work. A few years ago I had that problem and I did have to quit. It made me very depressed but I took a whole year to work on myself and put supports in place so that I can be healthy now. I also don't work more than 3 days a week.

I know what you mean about not feeling part of the team. I also have trouble making new friends in new places, I never know what to say. I now put in a lot of effort in trying to socialise with my co-workers, even if its just smiling at someone in the morning or practising a question to ask them, but I get that it helps to be in the right state of mind to do this. I hope this improves for you.

[Slybaby]

@Emily thank you. I relate so much. For 6 years i have been quitting job because i wasnt making friends or im always quiet. Im glad you are managing now. Do you joke around your co-workers? Do you have someone that you are really close with?

[Emily]

Wow that has been a long battle for you, good on you for keeping on trying.

I am terrible at joking. Sometimes people use sarcasm with me and I make a fool of myself in taking them seriously. At one of my old jobs they would be sarcastic purposefully just to laugh at my reaction. Maybe oneday I will get it... I don't have anyone that I am really close with, although I have only started the job 2 months ago. I have gone out to drinks after work a few times so I think thats a good sign.

[Former-Member]

Yes I get anxious socially if there's more than a few people at a time to talk with. I find it sort of overwhelming to try and keep track of too many people in a conversation. What are they thinking or implying are they happy or sad etc I prefer one to one or just a couple of people I know well. Unless it's a whole class of short people and then I'm fine doh!
I'm struggling with my work and think I should probably go part time but not sure how I'd manage financially either and feel so guilty that it's already hard on my kids.
Hope you are doing ok today, keep talking things out with your therapist hopefully a way forward that's best for you will emerge.
Lj