Lived Experience Forum

[utopia]

I am sick and tired of this Corona lockdown. Since March i have only visited the local IGA, the pharmacy and the doctors. Haven't left my little town of less than 3,000.

I find myself talking to my dogs all the time, hoping that just once they will respond. Lol. But they dont.

It's hard when you live alone, with no one to talk with or interact with.

Mentally my depression is in remission. So i guess this is simply sadness that im feeling. A strange feeling i haven't felt since i first got sick with Depression.

[Caringsoul73]

@utopia 

Hello,

Sorry that you're feeling sad. I can relate to the lockdown as I'm in Melbourne. It's really tough for a lot of people. The disconnection in simple things that people usually take part in has left many feeling the pinch. 

My father lives alone and I'm making time to check via facetime calls or phone calls just to keep him connected with us. He used to have a daily routine of walking in the morning, then off for coffee with friends a couple of days per week followed by bowls. Those things kept him engaged and are so simple but provided him with company. 
When we ask how he is he always says oh I'm fine no troubles, I'm fine playing chess online instead etc. But I can just see he doesn't want to bother anyone and pulls through. 

I can understand for people who live alone how hard this time is for you. The limits on movement are hard.

Have you got some friends that you can video call just to at least see their faces? it's not ideal but I know a few people doing that just for contact with coffee etc. 

I'm glad you've connected here and I truly hope this lockdown lifts soon to break down the isolation experienced by many. 

Take care 

[Magpie2]

Yeah, this is not living, this is existing. Barely. 

Over the next few months, we (community and leaders) will need to think more about how we can do this better than 'just stay home and stop breathing please while the grown-ups figure out what tf they're doing'.

One really useful idea around is 'social bubbles'. One article about it is here, but they're part of the rules in the UK so that people who live alone aren't isolated. I don't really want govt making rules about our social lives, but while the current rule is 'just flippin don't', I hope this idea will sensibly filter upwards as a personal 'risk management' strategy as well as a way of rebuilding community.

https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/coronavirus-covid-19-strategic-distancing-methods/12370...

[Owlunar]

I hear you @utopia 

I think most people are wearing pretty thin right now - and I also believe that the authorities are doing their best for the many - as tough as this is for everyone

The things that people do in their lives to keep themselves going though difficult times are starting to fail - and with spring coming - along with the hayfever for many - comes the itch to move away from where they feel trapped to greener pastures - it has been a hard year for us all and for you - keeping your depression at bay is another challenge

My support workers tell me that I am doing well compared with many people they see - but I am wearing thin

But please talk to your dogs - I am glad you have them - I miss my cat but I do sort of have one right now - he lives in the house across the road from me and often comes over to my place to say hello - if he sees me he runs across the road to get his ears scratched and tummy rubbed. It's good to have this happen - and I thought he was a girl at first and I call hi "Sweetheart" - checking makes me pretty sure he is a boy though - but it is good to have a vicarious pet - someone else does all the pet chores

I understand that you are feeling sad - having so little contact over so many months is really isolating - I like to travel but my three trips away have been into general hospitals - twice for procedures and once a week for pain management - and trite little statements are irritating me now.

It's normal I am sure - to feel sad and lost at this time - in fact as it continues the stronger the sense of isolation becomes - 

But - really - in spite of all of this and the inconvenience it causes - I feel angry when people break the rules - personally - and being in a risky age group - I want to avoid catching the virus if possible - and I also wish that one for everyone else

So - I am taking care of myself and hope you are too - I think you are - you always seem to be very sensible to me

Dec

So tired of the lockdown

[Shaz51]

hello @Owlunar , @utopia , @Magpie2 , @Caringsoul73 

sending you understanding  hugs 

I live in a small country town and we are feeling it here to , strange to say 

and I am missing my furbabies  wish i had some xx

keep on keeping on my friends 

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia 

just letting you know that I'm thinking of you. I talk to my pets a lot more too. Then I answer for them. Sometimes I think I'm losing it, but it's nice to have chats 'with them'. 

[jem80]

@utopia @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar @Magpie2 

I hear you and feel for you. Whilst I don't have any pets, I do occasionally talk to myself as I live alone.

You mentioned that your sadness is a strange feeling. What is it about your sadness? What kind of strange feelings are you having?

I hear you when you say your sick and tired of lockdown. I feel it with you. 

I have to say that even though I'm tired of zoom meetings with my community groups, if I didn't have that I would really be in trouble. At least I still talk to the outside world even if it's just on a computer screen.

I chatted online to a Beyond Blue counsellor last night to vent my frustrations about been in lockdown and the counsellor mentioned that we need to do our best to keep up with some sort of routine which is difficult in COVID as the routine changes based on what happens with COVID restrictions.

I got links from beyond blue and the one that I found interesting was the one talking about our mental load. It's our to-do-lists and mental planning. I found it really interesting as it talked about the invisible load that we mentally put ourselves under to plan and have a successful day. Whilst the article primarily focuses on the roles of men and women and relationships. The first paragraph identifies what we do to organise our day. In this pandemic to organise what should be a simple straightforward plan turns out to be arduous to complete because of the additional planning and tasks that need to be carried out to perform what should be a simple task or action like going shopping or going out or attending medical appointments.

https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au/managing-my-daily-life/coping-with-isolation-and-being-at-home/mental-health-and-the-mental-load-during-the-pandemic.html

[Zoe7]

I talk to Tobes and Cat all the time @utopia and we aren't in lockdown lol 

I can only imagine how hard it is for everyone in Victoria and feel for you Hon 

[utopia]

@Zoe7 @jem80 @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Owlunar 

God i hope i didnt forget anyone. I cheated by typing in the @ symbol and it giving me a list of names.

Yes im talking to my dogs a lot more. It would be good if they would respond back. A woof, a growl, a yawn, a grunt. Anything really. In the past i've had dogs that were talkers. You'd say something to them and they would respond back in their doggy way. I miss that.

Sadness. Yes im feeling sad. Its an odd feeling because im used to feeling depressed these past 6 years (on and off). And sadness is so mild and nothing when compared with depression. But it's a feeling of not being right. Not being happy. 

I think a problem for me with this lockdown, is that for years i had isolated myself. Only have one best friend. No one else i can see. And she's so busy working and going to school and raising an 8 year old on her own. So she hasnt time for me this year. Not really.

And now that im over my depression and in remission, i find that i dont have any social networks to connect to. You know how you are told a good way to have good mental health is to stay in contact with family and friends. To feel connected to your community. To volunteer. Play a sport or do a hobby in a group. Keeping that social connection with others is so important to maintain proper mental health.

Unfortunately my timing has been a bit off. Recovering from depression during the Corona lockdown means i cant join the groups i want to. Because they are all closed here.

Doesnt help that my computer is broken, so i cant Skype or Zoom with anyone.

I've decided when this pandemic is over, im going to go and do ballroom dancing lessons. I did it when i was 13, a million moons ago, and i loved it. So i'll start off with that activity to join, first.

Anyway, im doing pretty well today, and i hope you all are too.

[Zoe7]

Ballroom dancing lessons would be great for you @utopia You will both get to meet people and exercise at the same time doing something you enjoy - so a win-win all around. 

It is hard to stay connected with the lockdown and I very much hear you about your one close friend and her having other priorities right now. Hopefully when this lockdown is over you will be able to spend more time with her and her daughter - I know you have loved being able to spend time with them both in the past and I really hope that closeness and connection can once again happen really soon for all of you.