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destructive
Senior Contributor

Self harm

Not sure if I'm allowed to post about this but I'm really struggling with this at the moment. I just feel like and overwhelming waste of space. Actually more than that, I'm not just a waste a space but tuen everything around me to s***. Then I self harm and I can see it but can't stop myself and I think my view of what's not too bad is distorted like someone with an earring disorders view of their body is. It's getting harder and harder for me to know what's bad or not, what I really should get treatment for or not. I think because there are so many barriers that I tell myself it's not so bad. How do I know when I need help? Or even better how do I stop it even getting to that point if I feel not in control. Like a robot. 
apologies if this is not ok to write about. I'm not sure on the rules on it

14 REPLIES 14

Re: Self harm

Hi @destructive I am sorry to hear you feel that way. we have sent you an email a few hours ago with supports and checking in that you are safe. Can you please let us know you are safe? and contacts the crisis numbers provided for support if things escalate

Jazz

HenryX
Senior Contributor

Re: Self harm


Hello @destructive,

I'm fairly new to the forums so finding my way around is a bit hit-&-miss. However, I noticed a lovely response you extended to @MightandPower66 following her comment a few hours ago. From the comment that you offerred, it seems to me that you have a considerable empathy for others experiencing distress. To me that seems like a lovely quality to have and to share.

I look forward to seeing more of your pleasant and precious qualities in future posts

With My Best Wishes
HenryX

Re: Self harm

Hi @jazz I'm 'safe' sorry I missed the email I'd taken something to help me sleep amd gone to bed. I don't want to be here anymore but I have my son with me until Monday and would never do anything intentionally with him in my care. I do worry maybe I accidentally self harm too bad sometimes though without realising and then somehow have to seek treatment with him with me which I imagine wouldn't work so well or look good on me as a parent. 

thanks for your comment @HenryX @I try and be there for other but often mess up and make it worse. 
doesn't help that my sons been sick all week and now I'm getting it too. So even if I did want to go to a doctor I couldn't. We'd have to go get Covid tests first then wait on the results and by then it's too late. Covid really has so many flow ons. 

 

Re: Self harm

Thank you for tellling us you are safe for now @destructive though it sounds like you are coming down with a lurgie. Are you able to see your gp to get some extra support in the mean time or at least call them? Look after yourself and keep up the support you are showing others too

Bow
Senior Contributor

Re: Self harm

Hi @destructive  just wanted to say hi 👋 and that I understand where you are sitting. I sh, frequently at the moment and I too often wonder whether I should seek treatment, but don't know if it's needed, don't want to be a bother and I also have a D whom, like you, wouldn't look very good if I took her along with me.  I did yesterday go and see my gp while she was at school, and my gp said that yes, I did need treatment. 
I guess if in doubt, seek it? 
hope you and your son are feeling better soon 

Re: Self harm

Hi @destructive,

 

Pleased to know that you have rested and feeling a little better. It is reassuring to know that your care for your son is a reason to "stay afloat" and to think about ways & resources that you can use for support.

 

Continuing to think of you and wish you well

 

With Care and Reassuring Concern for You,

HenryX

Re: Self harm

sitting with you @destructive Heart

hello @HenryX@Bow@Iris@jazz 

 

CR_Health-II-hot-drinks-coffee-12-15.jpg

 

Re: Self harm

I'm so grateful for al the comments as I'm feeling so alone.

@Iris unfortunately no GP visit. I'm still unwell with cold/flu symptoms and have my son with me. Both barriers. It's too late now because I think they need to do stitches in the first 24hrs.

 

@Bow I am sorry you struggle with this also. I use to be better at getting seen to but then I felt more and more like an unconvinced. I hear you struggle with that too. When it's something you do to yourself it's hard to then get help. I know they could do with treatment but it's the need part my perception has changed over time on. Also have changed GP in the last 6 months and that makes it harder. My last one had treated me and so I know she knew of that makes sense. It's such a shameful thing. 

@HenryX  and @Shaz51  youre both so kind. 

I'm still having some pretty hard thoughts. It just feels like life will never end and it is soo hard, every day I feel like I'm wading through concrete. Why do we have to live through this. Self harm stops the thinking for a while. 

Re: Self harm

Hi there @destructive

I'm sorry to hear you're having some heavy thoughts tonight. I wanted to check in privately so please keep an eye out for an email.

Please know you can reach out to a crisis helpline as you need-

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

 

Thinking of you,

Sphinxly 🐣

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