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28-02-2019 09:26 PM
28-02-2019 09:26 PM
SH
I tried to SH to get rid of the feelings- I have not SH in such a long time- it has always helped to make me feel better-
In the past, it has always taken away the mental pain by focusing my Attention on the physical pain- therefore stopping the mental pain. It used to give me a huge high - because I was so relieved to be free of the non-stop mental pain- it made me feel high & relieved.
This time I don't even feel it- it is like my leg is not attached to my body or the essence of me-it has not helped relieve me of any mental pain - there is no high, no happiness to be free- no relief.
I barely even feel it. It has not helped at all. I have no ideas left. It hasn't got anything to do with suicide. I just feel numb. The only thing that ever helped me- that I was holding off on doing- has not helped at all.
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01-03-2019 12:09 AM
01-03-2019 12:09 AM
Re: SH
@Serenity1 Maybe it is a good thing that the SH did not distract enough from your other worries, as sometimes it can get dangerous and be hard to recover from physically.
I read your other post about Shame and guilt. It sounds as if you were carrying a huge load. It took a long time before I could really face some of my behaviours and be kind enough to myself to forgive them.
I just kept returning to metta ... the buddhist loving kindness meditation ... it was the only that worked for me . .. tho something else might help you.
Take Care and Hugz
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01-03-2019 09:25 AM
01-03-2019 09:25 AM
Re: SH
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01-03-2019 07:49 PM
01-03-2019 07:49 PM
Re: SH
I have not ever done anything too dangerous , as I am a wuss & luckily surface SH has given relief in the past. Not this time tho-
if I can recover from this difficult period-I know I can get through anything. I just don't know if I am strong enough to get through it tho -& if it breaks me, I feel it will break me completely. So I'm not very hopeful atm. But have moments of hope 💖
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01-03-2019 08:53 PM
01-03-2019 08:53 PM
Re: SH
Just walking with you.
Fear can be paralysing.
Simply taking next step is a good way to go.
Also napping and marking time when that is needed as well.
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01-03-2019 09:20 PM
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02-03-2019 10:57 AM
02-03-2019 10:57 AM
Re: SH
The 24/7 nature of parenting needs more attention.
Give yourself lots of self care. @Serenity1
I gave myself a hard time for long time.
Cant say I am good at that but I am doing my research and learning about it too, often from people on here.
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02-03-2019 12:01 PM
02-03-2019 12:01 PM
Re: SH
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02-03-2019 12:20 PM
02-03-2019 12:20 PM
Re: SH
Just the being on call all the time adds a level of stress. Particularly if there is no other support or a sense of a village around the mother and child.
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02-03-2019 12:47 PM
02-03-2019 12:47 PM