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MsKitty
New Contributor

Really lost, not sure where to turn...

Hey, I'm sorry I'm new here and I apologise if I'm doing this all wrong but I really don't know where else to turn for some lived through experience advice. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder and PTSD which started about 3 years ago as a result of a work related incident. I was accused of something I didn't do, but it affected me so much that I couldn't continue to work there.TThis caused the PTSD. I know it might sound trite to some, but it was a very horrible experience that still affects me and my view of the world and myself.

 

I've worked since then but have really been nervous and it's affected my employment. I've worked for 2 companies since. I left the first one because I really couldn't cope with my manager due to my anxiety as she kept shifting the goal posts and I was having panic attacks every day to the point that I would have to lock myself in the toilet to calm down. I would cry to and from work and I was drinking heavily.

 

I thought I'd found something better, in the industry I was previously in. However, I was made redundant by that employer after 7 months and I honestly believe that it was because they found out about my mental health issues. This sent me down the rabbit hole again and I haven't been able to work since because I am so paralysed by anxiety, that nothing I do is good enough and I will fail again. I am so afraid of being unemployable after being out of the workforce for more than a year now. I'm scared that I'll never have a normal life again.

 

I've been hospitalised on so many occasions. I've tried TMS, TBS, ECT, so many meds. I'm on my second psychiatrist who I've been seeing for over a year. I don't know if my psychologist is helping either.

 

I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone found any treatment that has helped them? Should I try another psychiatrist? I don't want to keep on going back into hospital like I have been. I go in, get better for a bit then I am back to square one. It's not a long term solution.

 

Also it's been suggested that I go on the disability support pension and NDIS but I'm scared that this will affect my future employability. Does anyone have experience with this? I'm so scared and lost. Thank you for reading this far if you have and thank you for any advice if you have any. Wishing you well xx

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Really lost, not sure where to turn...

hi @MsKitty  and welcome

Im sorry i dont have much advice for you but i wanted to welcome you to the forums. i also suffer from ptsd and anxiety amongst others so i can understand some of the challanges you face. 

please feel free to have a look around and join in wherever you like. if you put an @ before a members name itll tag them for you, this way theyll recieve a notification that your talking to them.

 

 

perhaps @Sans911  @Snowie @eth @Eve7 may be able to share some more advice

Re: Really lost, not sure where to turn...

Hi @MsKitty @outlander   

MsKitty I am on both disability support pension (many years) and NDIS (2 1/2 years) and don't believe they should affect your employability.   Tho' there is a limit to the hours you can do and keep your pension.   Having NDIS funding has changed my life for the better (much better), but getting accepted can be a difficult process.  I started a thread called Re: Anyone started with the NDIS  when I began that journey and it has lots of information in it if you have time to read through.

Also, for me, EMDR and dialectic therapy with my psychologist combined with eventually finding the meds that work for me from my psychiatrist is keeping me fairly stable and out of hospital for some time now (out of hospital since 2009).   I have both complex PTSD and bipolar 1.  I also keep a monitoring chart of my meds taken and moods daily which helps me monitor myself closely so I can make adjustments of activities when I need to and manage better.  It can take a while to adjust to new meds and see the benefits/problems on them but it's worth persevering.  We aren't allowed to mention specific meds here.

Sorry this is so brief.  You might like to google the things I've mentioned and then ask me some questions.

To tag me you type @  and a dropdown box will appear with my name in it that you can click on.  Then it will show in your post as @eth  and I'll get a notification that you've posted.

Re: Really lost, not sure where to turn...

@MsKitty
First of all I’d like to say I admire your courage and perseverance, and that in itself speaks volumes about your strength of character!
I think it’s FABULOUS to have a forum, a platform like this one, for us all experiencing mental health adversity to talk to each other, even albeit anonymously. I too am a new contributor and have suffered with depression and anxiety my entire life, and I am a 32 year old young woman - apart from quite commonly having a disfunctional family life since a young age, I have no reason to explain where or why I have this affliction, in other words, I have everything I could want to a sufficient degree, yet this affliction, and any mental health illnesses, do NOT discriminate. I have always heard so much about the help available online and in our community, but time and time again have rolled my eyes at it; strangely thinking “how can anyone help me BUT me?”.
I realise after discovering this forum and the myriad of resources available out there, plus most importantly the people like yourself who have the courage and strength to share their stories, we can learn to help each other and perhaps through communication, and like-mindedness, learn to “cure” the very misunderstood spectrum of mental health disorders and unravel their mysteries together. Plus the convenience of having online access I believe really makes a BIG difference, especially to those who are feeling especially isolated and lonely.
Don’t ever be scared, I know how it feels, and being lost is terrible, I am also battling this affliction at the moment. Always know you’re not alone
Wishing you the very very best x

Re: Really lost, not sure where to turn...

For me, iv used what makes sense to me. 

Knowledge is power!

im a little bit different in that I have complex ptsd, adhd, and all the anxieties that can go with them ie social and general.

it was important for me to find out what things trigger and understand the reactions I would have.

this is easer said than done as sometimes, at the point of no return, I don’t even know I am reacting.

but! If I do know I can tell my husband I’m not feeling ok and 1. Avoid the situation and or 2. Try to identify it as such in order to have some control.

talk therapy with a psychologist has helped me to, along with certain medications.

in all tho, it takes an approach from many angles to target each problem, and there are no quick fixes!

you CAN make it easer but it takes time. 

My advise is to read up on anxiety and how it affects us, although, be careful of what you read on line as someone is always selling some kind of rubbish cures and they can be quite convincing.. 

if your not sure about a page, get one of the helpers around here to look at it for you.

And best wishes 

Re: Really lost, not sure where to turn...

Chau! (Hello in South American Spanish)

I see you are going through similar stuff to what I have been through. My work trauma left me disabled and traumatised. I had no choice but to go on the Disability Support Pension and receive the NDIS. I have used this opportunity to do a lot of the stuff I always wanted to do. Basically, if you are really unwell, the pension and the NDIS are good. Being on these doesn't mean you are brain-dead. In fact, if you get them and use your time to do stuff  that is constructive, such as retraining in a field you've  dreamed of, or doing some volunteer work to help those worse off, or even to participate in effective medical treatment, the sheer fact that you've shown initiative will appear as proactive by any smart employer. Someone at Centrelink once told me that I should always apply for the government benefit that best fits my medical situation. It is not good for unwell people to be on Newstart benefits, for example. Maybe you co guild have a long chat with each of your doctor and your local Centrelink office. Additionally, there are some really good job networks out there who help people with special needs to get work. First of all, I would get my medical situation sorted before I engaged with anything. Tell me what you think. 

And by the way, I've been through 23 psychiatrists. The guy I see now is the best. If you don't  like a doctor you may have to try another. Often the best psychiatrists are the ones who bulk bill, because they see the worst cases, and wider and more varied cases.

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