16-05-2017 11:19 AM
My wife of 27 years has a serious mental illness, doctors have diagnosed as organic psychosis along with other complications. While in the manic phase, all hell breaks loose. Offensive and reckless behaviour, spending out of control etc. Usually ends in violent behaviour and hospitalisation, thankfully it only gets that bad every 18 months or so.
She is on the DSP and I just discovered she's trying to take out a bank loan, I'm not even sure why and she won't tell me. I have a Power Of Attorney.
Is there a way to temporarily block someone's credit rating so that it flags the lenders this person is at risk? We have a good rating and this is only to protect ourselves.
16-05-2017 11:42 AM
Your poor wife. Without knowing all the facts and details of your marriage, maybe she just wants some money for herself? Maybe to buy some clothes or plan a trip away to visit a friend? As her power of attorney - do you regularly give her some money or does she have to ask you for access to her money?
I think you should try to find out what the money is for and how much she is wanting. Can you discuss this with her? If she isn't given a small amount of money that she can spend on herself, it must feel quite humiliating and demeaning for her. Sorry if this may sound blunt, but Yes she may have a 'mental illness' but that doesn't mean that she can't make some decisions about her life.
You could contact the Public Advocate in your state and ask them for details on what information you are entitled to. There is also a Banking Ombudsman who might be able to give you some advice on banking or perhaps give Legal Aid a call. I would also hope your wife has a disability/mental health advocate acting on her behalf too - perhaps this person could assist also?
16-05-2017 03:59 PM
Thanks girl99 for the suggestions, I'll follow them up.
I'm sure my wife would mortgage the house and book first class airfares for a luxury trip to Europe or buy a fictitious property if given the chance. You really do know nothing of our situation.
Maybe you'd like to share your thoughts on the best ways to restrain someone you care for to protect the family from their own irrational and potentially damaging actions? It's obviously different for every relationship dynamic and a fine line to tread.
FYI - her parents now manage her money and drip feed it to her as required so she has some autonomy as she has been accustomed.
17-05-2017 07:19 AM
19-05-2017 10:21 AM
Thank you Darcy, I'm fortunate to have strong family and church support. My heart cries for the people who tackle the challenges of a loved one with serious mental health illness with the added burden of a dysfunctional family.
25-05-2017 07:13 PM
12-12-2018 11:57 AM
We got through the heightened euphoria phase Darcy. Thanks for asking, it ended with hospitalisation and things have been quite stable since, thank goodness. It's somewhat analogous to my migraines, you don't want to vomit, but you look forward to it, because immediately after you know the throbbing stops.
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