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Senior Contributor

Partner withdraws, how do I support him?

Hi, my partner has schizotypal personality disorder and I’m getting to know the pastiche of his “moods”. He’ll withdraw often and I find this tricky to deal with and find myself wanting to withdraw in response or seek sanctuary elsewhere. It’s a new relationship and if anyone has any insight - particularly if you have the same condition, it would be great to get some insight and knowledge of how to respond in a supportive way. Thanks x
Moderator

Re: Partner withdraws, how do I support him?

[ Edited ]

Hi @stpd I'm sorry to hear that it's been so tough managing your partners withdrawal, it must be really difficult to manage. It sounds like his withdrawal makes you want to withdraw emotionally from the relationship as well - this is a normal impulse to have towards a partner who is not able to be present emotionally. I'm wondering what you do to support yourself during these times when he withdraws?

There are a few threads on the forum which might be helpful in terms of discussing this issue with other members including this one here

 

Senior Contributor

Re: Partner withdraws, how do I support him?

Thank you @Mango Smiley Happy
A friend told me about an app called MoodKit, which has been helpful during the times I find confronting. It’s mostly a CBT app, but has loads of other things in it to promote positive behaviours and habits. I talk with counsellors too, but mostly - even though it’s really hard to to feel like it’s personal - I am calm and patient and just let him know how I feel, briefly. I’m finding once I do this and not rely so much on him to give me what I want emotionally (instead I go to the gym or do some other activity to focus on me and get out of my own head), I find he comes back to me with attention and affection. It’s a very interesting relationship in that tricky things end up being spoken about and I feel heard, even if it takes a little while. I’ll look up the link you provided - thanks so much <3