Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I remember seeing a video from a girl talking about how she was in the emergency room for suicidal thoughts. She talked about her experiences, including seeing a pair of counselors while she was there.

She said that after being released, she deteriorated again, and ended up in hospital a second time. She said that she was ashamed, because of the amount of work everyone around her had done to keep her safe.

Apparently she saw the exact same counselors she did last time, and they said "that's exactly our job. If you need help a second time, we'll be there a second time."

I can't find the video, which is a tad frustrating. I might start making a playlist of them.

Since I was in hospital, my mood has gotten better, but I am recognising tiny steps back into those negative thinking patterns. 

Of course, whatever's bothering you hasn't happened overnight, and so it's not going to go away overnight. However, the thought of feeling that way again is a bit intimidating.

As I said, I regretted what I did, and I expressed that to people. I realised that RELATIVELY speaking, my life wasn't bad. I literally used the words "lucky to be alive."

It just feels like it doesn't make sense to go from being grateful to being broken and potentially self-harming again... so I am going to be very embarrassed if and when I'm there again.

I can't think of a clear question 😂. Thoughts?

[AussieRecharger]

Small steps @Former-Member 

Just take each day as it comes and yes, bad habits are hard to break..  Its good to hear from you.. 

@HenryX - What do you think from all your years of wisdom my friend? 

@Historylover - What does history present about this? I was thinking about the tale of Budda when i read it.  

[Historylover]

Hello @Former-Member.  @AussieRecharger has tagged me, but I really don't know what to say.  I'm sorry - I haven't been keeping up.  Sometimes I just need a break.

Perhaps I conclude correctly that you have been self-harming and were hospitalized?

I'm sorry to hear that.  I guess you were stressed beyond endurance.  That is tough to read.  I have no such experience of self-harm so I cannot imagine what is causing it, so perhaps there is little I could say which could be of help. 

You don't have 'demons' but are seeking an escape from the problems which are making you feel this way, as you are not finding relief from the sources available to you.  Like all of us, we need solutions - even by small increments.  So many of us simply aren't getting the help we need.

How can you help yourself @Former-Member?  Don't think others will solve your problems.  Just start trying to find your direction in life, develop small goals, try to take control of your life.  Develop self-reliance.  Try to identify exactly what is causing your distress and look for ways to solve it.  If you can't, leave it until you are stronger and thinking more clearly.  In the meantime, just be kind to yourself.  Take the time to relax, clear your head and learn to calm yourself.  Breathe.  

I don't know if anything I have said has been a help or hindrance.  I don't know what else to say.

Stay safe@florenceforty.  We send kind thoughts and best wishes.     

[AussieRecharger]

Thanks @Historylover for answering the call -  That was a really good post.  

[Historylover]

You are very welcome @AussieRecharger.  

Hope you're doing well.  Sending best wishes.