Lived Experience Forum

[HappyOne]

My carer (mum) lives in another state. I rarely hear from her and when I call she makes it seem like I'm a hindrance. I feel so alone through all this. Most people with schizophrenia have a carer close by. Not only do I have to do it alone but I also have to take care of 3 kids. Does anyone have any tips on how to stay strong?

[Former-Member]

Hi @HappyOne I'm a single mum, and do it alone too. and its so hard! I dont have any contact with any relatives at all and dont have any friends who live nearby now. Its a struggle. I'm not sure what the answers are... i've been trying to get out and do more social things but its hard to find anywhere to meet new people and its not like i can join a group after school hours because of having the kids with me and no child care.

I find it helps coming here, at least its adult conversation and company 🙂

Sorry thats not much help, but i'm here listening and understanding,

LJ

[HappyOne]

Hi LJ, Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time too.

[NikNik]

Hi @HappyOne

We  can't choose our family, but we can often choose our carer 🙂

What are you looking for in a carer? eg:

- someone to go to appointments with you

- someone to take care of the kids when you need some time to yourself

- someone to confide in

The reason I ask is because there could be people/services we can engage with to fill some of these gaps.

For example - if you want to share your experiences with someone - this is a great community to do that in!

I'm not saying it will replace your mum, but if you're not getting what you need from her, lets look at where we can fill those gaps.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @HappyOne Welcome

One of the best ways to stay strong seems to be to keep talking and reaching out.

I mean talking about all sorts of things not just a presenting problem.

How old are your kids? Boys girls? What kind of things do you like?

[Former-Member]

Hi @HappyOne

I was feeling a bit negative the other day I think!! I do have a mental health worker who is through the local community health. She is great. She has helped me to do some things, or just helps me keep up with the housework. Its easier to do things with someone else. I never considered her to be a 'carer' but I suppose she is really! 

How are you going at the moment? Hope you have a good weekend!

LJ

[HappyOne]

I'm supposed to be doing an advanced statement soon so I guess that will work out a few things. I just don't really have many people around to help. I'm fine getting to appointments.

[Former-Member]

Yes, I think I am too, I do the stuff that I need to ok. For such a long time I was able to keep up the mask of the professional person who was just awesome at carrying on... until I fell apart and fell over. Sometimes it seems like people who need that hand and support to keep going isnt there, but then, me being me... i never reached out for anything either. I probably think thats the biggest lesson I've learnt this year is to keep reaching out for what I need. I still havent been able to find those friendships and social stuff that i think is missing in my life, but i'm a work in progress 😄

What's and advanced statement? who do you do that with?

cheers,

LJ

[HappyOne]

Hi @Former-Member.

It must have been the day for it. I guess I was having a bad day too. It's taken me ages but I've made a couple of friends and I'm slowly making more. An advanced statement is a document that you write when you are well about what you would like to happen when you are unwell. For me it is a very big deal. For the same reasons I haven't written a will. The only people who would be appropriate to take are of the kids are my ex's family. I have delusions about them trying to poison me. Because this is not totally unrashional I'm not going to do a will because if they think they will get primary care of the children that might give them reason to do something of a sort. Well that's what's in my head anyway. I dread the thought of getting ill again. If I don't keep it together the kids will have to live in the country with my ex's family.

[HappyOne]

Do you have kids @Former-Member? Ive found a few friends through my kids.