Lived Experience Forum

[rs_327]

Today I was thinking to myself about PTSD and was wondering if I have any of the symptons, I did a little self check-up and had a good look at the syptoms. The reason why I even started thinking about this in the first place is that when I was younger my parents split up and it has been a very bumpy ride through the last couple of years. Ever since it has happened I havn't been able too sleep right and have been having the same nightmare ever since, and I have felt like ive been pushing people away and I feel really socialy awkward and I really want to know what these things mean. I dont want to see a Doctor or anything yet unless I really think that I need too. Someone Please Help. 

[Former-Member]

Hi rs_327

Google can be your worst friend. The amount of times I've googled my illness the answer always come back cancer. It's though good to get basic information on mental illness but never ever take it as a dignouses. You do need to seek a professional who is fully trained in that field to get a dignouses. Also the symptoms your mentioning are common in so many other mental illness and even health illness.

I can understand where your coming from with the parents breaking up. It's not fun and very hard. I also believe because of that I have an issue of pushing everyone away due to the fact my parents walked away from each other who says someone I love will or will not walk away from me. I put up a shield to protect myself. I don't like being hurt or let down.

I'm also very socially akward. But mine is because I got a lisp and was heavily picked on and have low self confidence. Also I'm just weird and protest what society thinks life should be.

Oh the same nightmares are the worst! I sometimes wake up from them so scared and I'm violently ill and shaken up for days. What I do to try stop them is put lavender all through my room and not fuel my body with food from a late night feed and just have an hour to calm down before sleep.

Not the healthiest way to cope with it but I also sleep while comedy and happy shows to program my brain to think positive and that I'm sorrounded by happy people and I'm safe. All my doctors tell me it's not good for you because it keeps your brain slightly buzzing but then they see me crash and freak out with out it so they are like keep it on.

Don't be scared of seeing a doctor though if you feel you need help. There's nothing wrong with seeking help.

All the best

[Rockpool]

Hi @rs_327,

A very warm welcome to the forums

Thank you for sharing your experience, its not an easy thing to do sometimes!

Going through a parent separation is such a difficult time, I have also experienced this myself.  I feel like after this there is always some sort on impact it has on you as the child in family, however this is different for all of us.  It sounds as though this separation has stayed with you and has perhaps 'traumitised' you in a way and is impacting on your sleeping and on your social life. 

@Former-Member has given you some good information here.  I agree that Google or the internet in general can be your worst enemy at times, and also I feel as though everyone could tick off symptoms of all different mental health conditions if we looked hard enough.  The only way to find out exactly what you are experiencing is to speak with a professional.  There is definitely no shame in this and the professionals hear it all the time.  Of course this is a step to take if/when you are ready. 

Look forward to hearing from you soon

Rockpool

[rs_327]

Thank you So much, ive been really thinking about this for a while. I Will give it a few more weeks and then I will go and see someone. Thanks again for all the support

[tige]

Thank you for sharing. speaking to a professional to help you identify may help, and be a step towards different treatment so that you are heading in right direction. even one visit may help, you dont have to return, some are dream interpreters as well. psychotherapists are about bringing the unconcious to the consious. may be helpful in guiding you.

[NikNik]

Hi @rs_327

A big welcome to the forums 🙂 Everyone has given such great advice. I wanted to add my own personal perspective too.

Seeing a professional can also be a preventative too - we don't have to be experiencing terrible symptoms. Often we put off going to the GP to do the general check of blood pressure, cholesterol, etc, but even if we're experiencing mild symptoms or none at all, it's important to get things checked out.

I see our mental health as the same thing - sometimes we just need a check up for the same reasons - to jump on something early or just to have peace of mind.

Let us know how you go! 

[BlueBay]

I agree with you @NikNik that sometimes we need to 'check in' with our support people whether it's a GP, counsellor or psych.  I use my GP for physical checks and also to drop in and have a chat when feeling depressed.  He allows me to see him whenever and always takes his time.  Even though I have been seeing my therapist and psych for almost 6 years now I will still use them when better to check in at times on how my mental health is.

[Neb]

Sadly, where I live most of the folk treat MH as a contagious disease....running scared, really uncomfortable with it.

[Decadian]

Hi there

Looking up your symptoms anywhere - not a good idea - if you think you have trauma from a past event and it is causing you stress it's pretty safe you have PTSD - but it's really only a disorder when it makes it hard to go on with your life

So I think I have PTSD - I can be fine but a sudden event in can really throw me - and I guess this is happening to you - and you trace it back your parents seperating and that must have been traumatic - and it's in the past and it causes stress and sometimes it makes it hard - really hard

My parents didn't seperate from each other but for a long time seperated themselves from me - I have no real idea why - everything's pretty vague - but I do know how bone and brain crushing it can be to be on the pointy end of other people's behaviour - it hurts, it confuses - and it makes your life hell and the feelings hang around for years - and years - and years

Overtime I have thought that it's not feeling at fault or blaming others that is part of the problem - but rather the pain it causes us to have events like this that cause us suffering

I'm sorry - I have written this and I have forgotten your name - but yours was the first post in this discussion -

Have you seen anyone about this? - I am - and whereas I struggle with the toxic nature of the events that still exist in my family today - I am getting it out of my system. But I have the strongest idea that it will never go away - I just have to learn to live with it and hope it will hurt less in time

I hope your life gets better and you hurt less with time too

Decadian

[Decadian]

Hi - RS37 - I'm sorry about forgetting your name - and I see you don't want to see a doctor about this.

Perhaps we can help - I hope so

Decadian