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Louise50
Casual Contributor

My son is drinking exclusively

Hi all,

My 30 year old son drinks all the time and I don’t know what to do?

he used to have a substance addiction but managed to stop but instead he is now smoking a fair bit of cannabis and when he isn't working he is drinking, he drinks to the point of being paralytic atleast 2 times a week and and every night he atleast consumes more than 4 standard drinks a night 😞 it’s heartbreaking for me to watch him do this as it is for his 2 younger brothers and I don’t know what to do? Do I talk to him? Talk to someone about how to help him? Look at an intervention? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

18 REPLIES 18

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Hi @Louise50 I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, it must be heartbreaking for you to see your Son doing this to himself. In my experience, you can treat the addiction but if you don't treat the underlying cause for the addiction it just keeps coming back. Do you know the reasons behind why he does it? Does your Son have a psychologist? 

Depending on which state you are located, there are different addiction treatment services however your Son would have to be willing to access that support. Do you feel he would be open to a conversation about it? 

 

We also have the SANE guided service if that would be helpful as a support for yourself.

 

It's a tough one, sending you strength 💝

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Greetings Louise50 my thoughts are with you 

As someone in recovery from both alcohol and drug addiction i feel deeply for our close family members who are often torn as they watch our dive into self destruction and psychological distress feelings of powerlessness frustration anger guilt it can be so tough to bear witness to active addiction 

Firstly I really encourage you to look after you get to a support group like Al-Anon or similar (Often Drug and Alcohol services also run these kinds of groups) you may also find something online 

You might want to encourage your son to check out an online AA meeting or consider re engageing with counselling or treatment all said and done though theres not much you can do until your son is ready for some change in the right direction The causes of this kind of drinking are many and varied as to are the cures the art is being ready to support your loved one when the time comes for being ready for some change - essentially some action towards recovery again in the meantime its all about harm minimisation and maintaining the relationship such that meaningful communication and dialog continue a more subtle approach might be to leave a few service phamplets around the house if you think talking is worth a gop start with .............."I really love you and im worried about you your drinking is getting really heavy again do you think your ready to moke some changes?" I hope things change for the better for you as soon as possible I invite you to still be the support your son needs and want to honor how tough things are in the here and now hang in there it will get better 

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Thank you Lou2u

I did in fact get in contact with al anon today 😊 and will be going to a meeting on Saturday, they seem very supportive.

It is hard as this isn’t the first time he has had an addiction. I am so proud that he managed to stop doing ice (some years ago now) but unfortunately I feel he’s replaced this with alcohol. 
We do have a pretty good relationship as I had him at a young age and he is open about the drugs he has done and that he feels he needs to stop drinking, although this usually comes out after he has had a few drinks. I have said to him what you suggested before and he seemed to think about it and not get defensive. But this was some time ago and feel he has gotten worse 😔 I guess I’m afraid of pushing him away as this happened before when he was doing Ice, I didn’t know where he was, if he was safe and if he would come back to me the same. I’m scared to go through that again.

Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot especially because you yourself have been through this.

 

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Hi @Lou2u , I believe @Louise50 's message above was for you.

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Hi Paperdaisy,

Thank you for responding to me 😊 

there could be a few reasons why my son is drinking a lot. I have always suspected that he has ADHD as his younger brother does and he has always had very similar issues with memory, sleep (executive functioning) ect. 
when we have talked about it he said drinking helps him deal with the pain. The pain he has is from his teeth, they all need to be pulled out and he has booked in and on a payment plan to have them removed and to get implants. However, he has a REAL fear of the dentist, last time he went he was in another state for work and had a bad tooth ache he had to go and he told me he broke down and cried, this was so embarrassing for him and I believe he is stalling to go (understandably) he asked me to come with him last time for support ☹️ also another reason is his father may have role modelled bad drinking habits as my son was growing up. his father no longer drinks as much and is now constantly on our sons back about stopping. We divorced when our son was a year old due to his drinking. He is a different person now and is trying to help our son I believe he means well. 
Thank you for your suggestion about Sane guided service, can you tell me more about this? 😊

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Did I not reply correctly?

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Hey @Louise50 ,

 

The Guided Service is a service for those impacted by complex health, including carers. It gives you the opportunity to set recovery goals and work towards these goals with a counsellor or peer worker via telehealth. You get to speak to the same person each session which can really help you get the support you may be needing. 

 

You can click on @Paperdaisy 's link above and read more about it there.

 

Hope that helps clarify things.

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Hi @Louise50 , no, you did reply correctly.

 

However, if you want the person to receive a notification of your post, you need to tag them in by typing "@" in front of their name ad then choosing their name from the drop down list. Once you start typing their name, you should see it on the drop down. e,g, @tyme 

Re: My son is drinking exclusively

Thank you
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