Lived Experience Forum

[Bow]

Sorry @TuxedoCat I feel asleep! Thank you for understanding what I meant… I wasn’t sure what words to use to explain it. I talked a tiny little bit about this yesterday with my psychologist, well not about being marked, but about there being things that I should have done to make him stop what he was doing, that I shouldn’t of been there in the first place. I did some art yesterday…. And I included my long time belief that I have been marked and that’s why it happened. That’s why all of them ‘events’ happened. Why else?? 4 seperate occasions, 4 seperate people. Those can’t all just be coincidences?? Surely I was born and marked to be an easy target? 

[Captain24]

I don’t know what to say other than I’m thinking of you @Bow 

[Bow]

Thanks @NatureLover  im not sure how I feel about being here. I know that I appreciate and love the support and friendship here, but I just get into too much trouble. Have posts removed. That’s why I wonder if this is the right place for me. And yes some posts trigger me, it’s just the nature of the forums, none of yours though.

I don’t know what the answer is. Think I’m just in too bad a place at the moment, especially with doing this exposure therapy and everything being so intense. I think I actually just need to stay away from my own thread, that way I won’t share stuff and get into trouble. Just support others. But I’m not really in the place to do that either, I really don’t have much to give at the moment. 

sorry just rambling now. 

[Eve7]

Sending lots of loving support @Bow 

I get triggered a lot on the forums and I used to get posts removed a lot but I tend to journal my dark thoughts now.

We’re in this together my dear friend so hold on tight.

💙 🦋💙

[creative_writer]

@Bow, sorry to hear you get triggered. I’ve been triggered too, it’s hard. Now I have to assess where I am psychological to determine which threads are safe to read.

I’ve had posts removed too, sometimes I say too much in the heat of the moment. I even posted something yesterday but immediately removed it because I didn’t want to trigger anyone. I know you are good at writing, maybe try writing things out. Sometimes I write poems and I keep them to myself. Other people journal. I just find poetry more cathartic.
💖🫂

[Snowie]

@Bow 💗💗

[Bow]

Thanks @Eve7 @Snowie @creative_writer

sometimes I have the need to be heard… especially about the things that have happened to me, I can’t be silenced about it anymore. But this is not the place for that. Need to remember that. 

I will try writing it out and taking it to my psychologist 

[creative_writer]

@Bow, psych sessions are a safe place to share your story. I know it can feel like you’re being silenced, and being silenced feels so suffocating. I know you really want to share your story, and that’s a really brave thing, we are unfortunately not equipped to support you with that. You will always be a valuable member and we will be here to support you in ways we can 💖.

A tip, to help you utilise each psych appointment, you can always write out things and think about what you want to get out of it the appointment. I feel having a sense of direction helps you utilise the time better.

[NatureLover]

I understand having posts removed is upsetting, I've had it done too @Bow 

I'm glad none of my posts have triggered you. 

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@Bow wrote:

Think I’m just in too bad a place at the moment, especially with doing this exposure therapy and everything being so intense.

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I understand...thanks for explaining. Exposure therapy is so intense and awful, but so necessary. I know I can't face it regarding the germophobia, so I admire you. I did face it regarding the childhood (actually lifelong) severe emotional abuse from my parents, but that was because I couldn't go on as I was. Facing it resulted in a lot of healing - not full healing but enough to get on with my life. I am hoping that happens for you too 💜

[Bow]

Thanks @NatureLover  im hoping that this helps enough for me to also move on with my life, enough so that it’s not so debilitating. But I do also have other traumas…. 

how are you doing my friend? How’s your cleaning going? Your 1hr extra?