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Something’s not right

Simona
Contributor

My Lament over being medicated.

It's almost 8pm and I'm rattled.  I already had my 1st anti psychotic with dinner.  And I have all these sleepy pills/relaxants here to fill in the gaps. And I'm supposed to take another* anti psychotic before bed : /     NO NO NO.   This last one I loathe.  I loathe it because it was given to me before so I know what to expect.  I hate it. I refuse it. I didn't know it was the same one.  They called it by a different name. So i feel tricked.  I respect they say I  need it but I just can't.    I'm so acutely tired of being medicated/doped up and the up and down of the volume control in my head.  I should just go to bed now. I have nothing to contribute to family life from my moaning corner.  I take my meds and i sit staring glassy eyed. I exist and now i come here and moan some more.  I'm sorry.

12 REPLIES 12

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

Two anti psychotics - both different brands.  I don't think it's a good idea. In any case i feel so mixed up as it is.  

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

Why don't you call your Phsiciatrist?

 

Simple.

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

I lament about meds too.

There are a lot of studies that help inform doctors' decisions about which medications to use.  There are also a lot of different views here on the site about benefits vs side effects. These days I have heard that it is common to have quite a combination.

I have had to accept anti-psychotic medication being a fact of life in people I love.  I am compliant but wary.

I would think most psychotherapists agree that is is the combination of therapy and meds (not meds alone) that can make the difference and help improve one's outlook.  What kind of health care team do you have?

On the more human level, find a way to be around the house and family that you can cope with. Maybe just being calm, listening to music, reading, crafts, whatever helps you feel settled.  Not sure how old your kids are.  There is also the journey that occurs before you were prescribed medication. 

Take care @Simona

 

 

 

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

I will most probably tomorrow because i want to be honest about not taking it.   Just didn't feel like talking today.  I know she means well it just dawned on me last night - the big why?   I wasn't feelng well yesterday with the psychosis so i forgot to ask. I was very vague

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

Hello Appleblossom

I have a psychiatrist although i don't get to see him much at all (3 times with the 1st time being last year).  I do however get weekly consults with his nurse.  She's really nice and understands me.  I have an advocate/caseworker and that's it.   I used to have a psychologist but he told me he can't see me at this stage.   I think he is correct because i'm not able to speak of those things without going weird in a posessed way.

I'm trying very hard to stay grounded and at peace. I struggle alot with psychosis and my moods.  I thought it had left but it's still here.  I have 3 children 8, 10, 17 and a really generous and understanding partner. I'm very lucky he loves me because i know i'm not easy to live with.   Also he doesn't like what the meds do to me because i just stare and sleep.   I was told in the MHU i have that schizo affective disorder but i have never been formally diagnoised by my own team.   My journey before being medicated is a blur.  I have forgotten alot of people i spoke to.   

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

Your children are at an age where there is a lot of pressure to be a good mum. There needs can be endless, and mums are human and have limitations, all of them.  It should be a good thing in that it becomes a way mum's model to the young how to regulate, our commitments and our energies and meet our needs. Some of the myths of motherhood make it harder than it needs to be.  Are they giving you space and respect?

I went into semi-catatonic states when my children were younger.  That was without medication but under psychiatrists. So if that is the situation it can happen with and without meds. Before marriage I was fit, active and hardworking.

Just talking .. not wanting to diminish the difficulty of your situation.

Re: My Lament over being medicated.


@Simona wrote:

This last one I loathe.  I loathe it because it was given to me before so I know what to expect.  I hate it. I refuse it. I didn't know it was the same one.  They called it by a different name. So i feel tricked.  I respect they say I  need it but I just can't.    I'm so acutely tired of being medicated/doped up and the up and down of the volume control in my head.  


I know how you feel. I hate, with an absolute passion, anti-psychotics. The mental dumbing and then 12-18 hours of sleep resulting in a insatiable desire for KFC. I hate it to the point that I'll only take it if I'm bouncing off the walls or have psychosis that goes into a second day (I'm lucky they are prescribed as needed). 

Any other medication I'm fine with. I kept taking one even when it meant I threw up most nights for a month or two. 

Try to find one that has tolerable side effects for you. For me, at least, the side effects for each type of anti-psychotic were different. On one I can function and can even get to work on it. 

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

Simona, I kept on complaining to my psych until they changed it. The change overs sucked, but until I recently reduced my dosage I was on a good combo with minimal side effects (I have schizoaffective too). Contact your case manager and nurse and tell them to help you get your meds changed. You can find some meds have heaps less side effects than others.

Re: My Lament over being medicated.

Appleblossom:  Thank-you for your feedback. Yes my children give me space.  My partner keeps them away from me when i'm in "That" way.   I go into the spare room and they slide notes/letters under the door when they really need me/miss me.  I could stay in there for hours but never really alone.   And that's the Schiz part.  I'm not alone.  Or i hide out in the car in the driveway or just drive somewhere.   I'm very familiar with catanonia. My partner is quick to zero in on me and bring it to my attention.   Usually just makes me smirk or get defensive. 

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