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28-05-2023 07:16 PM
28-05-2023 07:16 PM
Re: Lots and random
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28-05-2023 07:43 PM
28-05-2023 07:43 PM
Re: Lots and random
Do you know if your council/municipality has activities in the neighbourhood you can attend? Just to give you a break from the house? @ClockFace . I know my council and neighbourhood community centres have light exercise classes, gardening, knitting, coffee and chat days, market days, yoga, pilates, craft sessions. They are all free and designed to engage the community.
Worth while looking around.
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29-05-2023 01:33 PM
29-05-2023 01:33 PM
Re: Lots and random
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29-05-2023 09:42 PM
29-05-2023 09:42 PM
Re: Lots and random
I went to bed yesterday at 1pm yesterday and woke at 4pm. I really didnt feel myself, I kept getting a really weird headache, it was really bad, like it was trying to be a migrane but just not getting there. I felt really off, upset stomach etc. So I went back to bed just before 7pm and slept all the way through to 3am. Thats a full 8hrs, I havent slept that long in for a really long time, like I dont remember when the last time I slept that long without a break. I actually feel pretty damn good, my back is ok, there is a slight ache but its pretty good. I dont know whats going on but now I managed to eat a full meal and Im actually keen for more. Thats the first time in weeks that I ate that much but even longer that I want more to eat after that. Last night I fed the dogs, generally I have been having to break it out into sections and it would take like 20min. Last night it was one hit, from start to finish, I mean I had to wait for clarification on the dog biscuits deal but it wasnt my intention to stop and I wasnt in too much pain to continue. Today I had to take my Mum to get her hair cut, then she asked me to get some money out of her account, off I go, walk back to her, back to my car. Then drove over to the shopping centre and walked basically from one end to the other to go to Specsavers and back again. Then to the servo to do my normal thing. For me that is a huuuuggeee amount of walking and normally I wouldnt be able to do that in one hit at a time, I would have normally needed a lot of breaks, lots of sitting etc. but today one thing after the other with no break, no rests except for sitting in the car. I wouldnt say Im sore, Im heavy, like when I was doing weights and I had just done a full work out heavy. Which given I havent walked that far in years is understandable. I went back to bed at 5am and slept until 9am, so I slept heaps in the past 24hrs. I have a doctors appointment in an hour so I cant go back to bed. I need a script but I want to talk to her about the neck/shoulder pain Im getting and the headaches. Im assuming its from the procedure but I just gonna get it checked while Im there. The other thing Im going to discuss is the pain meds and me likely being addicted and how I go about withdrawing from them. I mean I know you dont just stop, do you reduce the dose, is there another med you use. Should I start now given how short a time frame the branch block relieves pain or do I wait until after the long term procedure? I dont know that Id be starting today but I want to know what I am looking forward too. Ive gone through alcohol withrawals before and that wasnt a fun process at all. Am I looking at the same kinda thing? When I woke up at 9am I noticed issues with my left hand, then into my elbow. Its like when you get pins and needles and its wearing off, it just wont wear off. I have Ulnar Nerve issues and was supposed to get surgery probably 2 years ago but was too heavy at the time. Ive lost enough weight that I would be able to have the surgery now, which I may do, but with everything else going on I have been putting it off, added to that its 6 weeks recovery time so I couldnt afford all that time off work. But given I am now on SCI I might see if I can get it done. At the moment its more uncomfortable than painful and its not interferring with anything really. Its like 12:30, Im about to leave to see the doctor, but Im exhusted, given how much sleep Ive had I really should be but I cant believe how tired I am. I really wish I didnt have the appointment because I just want to go to bed. I keep getting really hot, its freezing where we are at the moment, then I go back to being cold. Like t-shirt to jumper and Oodie. Added to the sleep and the nausea I keep getting I wonder if I am coming down with something. I dont think its anything overly nasty or I need to worry the doctor with and given everything going on Im not keen to raise another issue even minor. But if it continues then it might have to have a conversation about it with her. I keep having a weird feeling that time has passed but I wasn't present for it. Almost like I'm doing something and I wake and it's done. Like I'm tuning out for a while. It's really odd. Like I was removed from my body for a while then put back not knowing what my body has been upto in my absence and I got to catch up suddenly. Something has bothered me for ages, this concept of wifes/girlfriends training their partners. You know what I mean. If/when this was reversed there was outcry and amongst other things led to a revolution. There is this concept that women are supposed to be in charge in a relationship or its sexism or abuse etc. Women are now empowered and want equality and equal rights which I am all for. It really shouldn't be taken that I'm not. My question is how is it equality when you are training your partner to be the way you want. Why are you finding men with "potential" and designing a man that fits your mould or better put subjecating him, enslaving him to fit your desires for him. Yet if the same was done to you, you would call abuse and leave him. Why do we have this, who wears the pants mentality. Firstly that term still indicates the position of authority lies with men. Secondly, it states someone needs to be in charge in the relationship. That there needs to be a dominating person who makes the decisions. I think and maybe its part of the reason why Im single, two people, who love each other as is can decide together how and where they live where both parties have equal say, both parties are respected and loved for the person they are at any particular time, not trying to train or change each other but working to grow together. The whole thing of women dragging the man to councilling because he doesnt do this or he doesnt do that. You probably do and dont do heaps that gets on his nerves, difference is he isnt trying to change you. Now if you were going to councilling to grow together, to mutually resolve irritations etc thats a different story but most the time one person is trying to get other people to point the finger at your percieved failures and make you feel inferior. I just hate this culture where one group is treated less than equal to another and in the process of equality the other group is subjicated and speaking out is met with hostility from all sides. I was thinking on the way home maybe this is why my sister and I are having so many problems at the moment. She is not wanting equality between the two of us, she is wanting to be the boss in our relationship and change/manipulate me the same way my Mum does to my Dad. Me being me is very much against this, I dont want to be in charge of her, the things in her life that I have been forced to take control of I am actively trying to give back. Though its a bit different, I have this authority because she cant be trusted with them and not try and take her life. I on the other hand can make my own decisions and participate how I see fit. I dont need my sister dictating how I do things, what things I do and how I run my life. I am not her partner, I am not responsible to her, I dont have to refer to her regarding my life choices. Theres not even equality between us, there should be equality how our parents treat us but that doesnt happen either. So Friday I had injections into my, I am dealing with muscle challenges, spasms, headaches, neck and shoulder pain you know I havent been in this little pain for over 20 years so my back is adjusting to even being able to stand straight. I dropped Mum at her hair dressers appointment this morning, she had bought a second hand electric oven (Buy, Swap, Sell) and had them drop it off at the hair dressers. How she cant see thats not appropriate I will never know. Her appointment went long, Dad was gonna pick her up on the way to their doctors appointments, so he went to his and I had to go pick her up. So that means I had to pick up, days after a spinal procedure, the damn electric oven, which wasnt exactly heavy, heavier than Id want to pick up at this stage, but one side was heavier than the other which made it weird to carry and that really played with my back and I am not exactly in pain, but Im not enjoying the feeling. She got in the car and says it wasnt to heavy for you? Does it matter, I mean I have already had to pick it up and put it in the car. If you were concerned you would have sorted out a different solution to me picking it up. I spoke to a GP today, got my muscle relaxant script, though it took a little work, she was keen for me to stop using it, they are trying their best to reduce my medications, but just at the moment, days after a spinal procedure with me having spasms and I use it to minimise them waking me up while I am asleep. This was not the time to stop this medication and thankfully she saw it that way, eventually. I spoke to her about the headaches, shoulder and neck pain etc. I spoke to her about my pain meds. She referred me to my pain specialist. I have an appointment with him tomorrow morning, depending on what he says Ill then have to wait until I see my normal GP on Wednesday. Its not ages away but I have been trying to keep Wednesday mornings appointment for referrals, I dont see my normal GP for like 3 weeks and I really need these referrals. Its a bit of a juggling act with my doctors at the moment, I have my normal GP and a GP that deals with my pain medication etc. I had to do that because its hard to get into my normal GP and impossible at short notice to get in on a regular basis. Turned out the doctor I chose for dealing with my pain stuff has a reputation for being the best pain GP in the clinic. My normal GP is good with my mental health and other physical issues, she keeps up with it all, which is a challenge, Im living it and I stuggle to keep up with it all. The pain GP was primarily a requirement because of the regularity that I needed to see someone to get scripts. There was a big issue with PBS who sent all the docs I was seeing letters about the prescription of pain meds. They were able to sort it out but we had to minimise the number of GP's I was seeing to get pain meds. It was hard to get into the same GP regularly, especially when I was getting a few days or so of the initial pain meds. Now, with the help of my pain specialist and the pain GP we got onto the new pain meds which I could be prescribed for longer periods. My sister just came in from a meeting. They went to do something about getting this house, which I thought was all a go they were just waiting for a vacency. Turns out no and my sister finally found out why and thats because Centrelink have her down as owning her own house. She was winging that how did they not know etc and that they still had an old car listed blah blah blah. My sister said, bearing in mind she is on DSP, she did not know she needed to tell them. You mean your excuse is that they should have just known and it wasnt up to you to tell them your circumstances had changed, while recieving a pension from Centrelink. It never crossed your mind. Ive been on centrelink for 1 month in my life and even I know that you would have to tell them if you sold your house. Shes like this with a lot of things, I didnt know I had to this, I didnt know I had to that. Its not an excuse, its your job to know these things. You cant walk around life with your head up your arse saying I didnt know. She worked in the government for years, she knows what they are like. She has just bought a new car, bet you she knows her obligations inside and out but when/if she gets this house I guarentee you at some point, I didnt know. Man is she gonna know. She can be as mad as she wants that they didnt tell her sooner etc. but it was her responsibility to tell them years ago. I just assumed she would have. You know when we lived in her house, Dad did a lot of the running of the house, he took care of bills, he took care of garden, he did all the bits and pieces you have to do with your own house. She didnt. They had deals with who paid what bills wise, but Dad managed them, he made the payment and she chipped in her bit. They paid the deposit and she had a bill with them. She might have on paper owned the home but it wasnt exactly her house, she didnt do the things that make you a home owner. Dear old Dad, the guy you trash every second you can held your hand every step of the way and covered your arse. You wouldnt be able to do it without him. I will say she bought the house for everyone to live in instead of them going into a rental. So many things she wont sit still long enough to read and learn what she needs to know about the conditions etc. She will winge to me that she doesnt understand, it doesnt make sense. Whenever something techy is bought, I thought it would do this, I thought it would do that. Set it up for me. Then there is the can you help me decide, I dont know what to do, oh its all too much. She has a great knack for shifting responsibility to others and then blaming them when its not exactly what she wanted or she was locked into something she didnt want or it didnt work the way you described, as if Im an expert on how everything (especially tech wise) works and features installed etc. If you want to know the ins and outs of a ducks bum get in the water, dont send someone (especially someone not invested) to do the research and give you a report. I know I talk about my sister alot, our lives are pretty intertwined. We live together sure, but we spend a lot of time in the same room, we are both unmarried and help each other a lot. Im also in charge of aspects of her life due to her decisions, Ive been very involved in all that and she is trying to stand on her own again. But this stuff with her medication is doing my head in. Atleast 3 or 4 times a week she makes requests about more access to her medication. Seriously, her doctors and support people got together and decided to increase her access from each dose to having a day supply in hand at a time. She will then ask for more panadol, which didnt bother me cause she can buy it OTC so me giving her a small amount is neither here nor there. But then she wants access to her webster pack for extended periods of time, trying to get that time unattended. What I know is that the doc rang me and told me what they have decided and what they want me to do and thats it, thats what Im doing. It would be good if she could pull her head in, respect the decision and me and shut up. My back is really weird, Im getting random and regular spasms throughout my body, mainly back, shoulders and neck but some in arms and legs. But Im getting random pain in my lower back, like random punches in my lower back. Its not anything like the pain I used to be in and Im not really complaining because Im a million times better than I was. I had a laydown mainly because of this damn headache but it did calm my back for a while as well. My headache is really getting to me, as Ive said its this migraney thing, mixed with pressure. Its not bad enough that I am getting any visual issues, its like a subtle migrane, there enough to really hurt but not bad enough to have me in a dark room, in bed, curled up. I really wouldnt have imagined that I have all these words inside me, for a long time now I have been writing essays a day and posting them. There is so much more that I have to say. Im finding this really helpful to get all this out, to "talk" these things through. Its like a weight is being lifted off me, sadly the next day its lowered back down on me again and I write once more. I doubt anyone is paying alot of attention at this point which is understandable, you only have so many hours in the day and I doubt many hae enough spare to read through all my carry on. As previously written about they are reducing my medication that stops me shaking, mainly my hands. I thought they were going to increase it to combat anxiety in general but they decided that cause it can cause depression they would cease it. They are hoping that increasing the dose of a med I take will do the same thing. So far my shaking is increasing, a fair bit in fact. The increase in the other med isnt cutting it. I have the GP that handles this on Wednesday so I will be talking to her then. Holy shit, getting settled for bed time and my sister tells me that shes told Mum its ok for her to use the car I drive. I have no issue with that, I have a pain specialist appt in the morning which is from home and Ill go with Dad to the family thing. Both are in the calandar but as I tried to explain to my sister there are more things I use the car for than going to appointments. So I wanted to know what time she needs the car, this all was an issue. As I explained to Mum who actually listened to me, I just need to know when I need to have my stuff done by so she can have the car when she needs it. Like I will shift my life about so you can do what it is that you will do, all Im asking is some guidance as to when you would like to do those thing. But no there has to be a shit fit about it and instead of listening you already make up yoour mind that Im a bastard and want the car all to myself or something. When my sister and I shared the car the same thing happened and the same reasoning etc I had and it was just about accomodating others, trying to ensure that the car was available to them when they wanted it, something that wasnt done for me.
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29-05-2023 10:19 PM
29-05-2023 10:19 PM
Re: Lots and random
It's great that your back is better and walking is easier @ClockFace
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30-05-2023 07:56 PM
30-05-2023 07:56 PM
Re: Lots and random
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31-05-2023 08:30 PM
31-05-2023 08:30 PM
Re: Lots and random
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31-05-2023 08:41 PM
31-05-2023 08:41 PM
Re: Lots and random
Hey @ClockFace ,
It sounds like your dad just 'turns off' to whatever your mum says? Seems like this is his way of coping?
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02-06-2023 08:14 AM
02-06-2023 08:14 AM
Re: Lots and random
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02-06-2023 09:42 PM
02-06-2023 09:42 PM