14-07-2016 05:53 PM
If my partner is telling that I am not appreciating him and that I now need to go 50/50 in Centrelink cause he doesn't work and I work full time. And yet I have been asking him to move in and live with me and the baby. And he calls me names n that I am controlling when he makes me feel used he doesn't live with me, puts any money towards bills when he is staying at my place (renting) and then wants me to open up a joint account and because I won't I am selfish. He is also a drug user am I wrong am I being selfish should I go 50/50 for payments? We have been together for 4yrs 3mths and I feel he is just using me and using our baby as a weapon and just in it for the money as he wanted full payment and not go 50/50. I hope this makes sense
14-07-2016 06:34 PM
14-07-2016 08:36 PM
14-07-2016 08:54 PM
14-07-2016 09:42 PM
15-07-2016 12:21 PM
27-07-2016 10:12 AM
Hi how are you getting along now?
Money is not the binding factor in relationships. One way of looking at this is by reversing the roles (him working with you at home) and see this makes no difference if you appreciate, respect and love each other. Plus also his 'idea' of joint bank account and moving in paying rent is actually not a financial gain when living with your partner? So either something left out there or I misunderstood this plan of his?
What I read in your first post was:
You mentioned he's a drug user and he calls you selfish too and these things have their own critical aspects, but I am more concerned about the fact there seems to be little or no respect and 'using the baby as a weapon (I think you were referencing finacial abuse related to your baby) this is probably the biggest concern, along with the verbal abuse intending to belittle you.
Many people associate abuse with something that is only physical or possibly sexual. But emotional and financial abuse weighs in at the exact same level with its own possibly long term effects. That with the fact that infants brain growth in the first 3 years through what they see, hear, feel, learn has been documented as the critical time that can affect a child in adolescent or even towards adulthood.
Therefore, I'd highly recommend you seek guidance by a social worker or even family violence center. It doesn't sound as though these things will just get better on their own. If you still want to continue a relationship with this person then they would need to mend themselves (again through family support services) first before being in such a relationship, especially when a child or baby is involved.
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