Lived Experience Forum

[petrichor]

Hi,

I’m in the middle of nowhere, remote central Australia. I’ve had a major trigger a few days ago. I don’t often have phone or internet and can’t talk to my professional support. 
i don’t like when I feel stuck somewhere away from my safe places. I don’t like when I don’t feel safe in the place where I stay. a lot of what I’ve learnt to make me feel safe in a place doesn’t work anymore. I don’t like when I have to rely on others. I know a lot is from … I don’t even want to say mental illness anymore. I would just like to feel like I’m supposed to feel. 
Anyway, how does support work in the middle of nowhere? 

[petrichor]

How do you know if it’s a real problem or just some trigger or being a bit paranoid? I’m all safe now, I just would like to find out when it’s me or the situation, when it’s real or unreal

[TuxedoCat]

Hey @petrichor, so nice to chat with you this evening ❤️ I've been wondering where you've been.

Thank you for posting tonight and I'm really glad you're safe. It sounds like it's scary being so far away from your usual supports and safe places. I know this will pass ❤️ 

How is your phone and internet tonight and tomorrow? If you have some access, would a phone call to the SANE counsellors be an option to figure this out what's next? 

Sitting with you,

TuxedoCat

[petrichor]

Hi @TuxedoCat 

thank you. I have not much access, haven’t been able to make phone calls and very briefly internet  so can’t contact. It’ll be ok, my head is just fooling around with me?

[petrichor]

I’m giving up with support services. Tried to connect all night. The internet is so little and unreliable I couldn’t even get past the ‘ask for help’ screens. Can’t call either. 

Got to get tougher 😞

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @petrichor,

Hope you are doing okay today - it's easy to get caught up with the stuff in our heads. I do it on a regular basis! I just try to remind myself that they are just thoughts they are not my reality. For me the intrusive thoughts are more likely to happen at night. Maybe because it is so quiet and there's less about to distract me?

As for getting tougher, you sound pretty tough to me. Reaching out for help when you need it to shows strength and guts. 

Take care of yourself @petrichor and please let us know how you are getting on when you can.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

[petrichor]

Hi @FloatingFeather @TuxedoCat @Eve7 

thank you for staying in touch. I’ll have internet for the weekend and I found a phone box. It’s weird how everything is online now. I went to the post office today to ask for a form and they couldn’t help. I asked them to print a page for me and they said they couldn’t help. But it’s good too. It just makes me tired. I’m in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere is everywhere. 

I'm angry that I’m not tougher. I’m tough, but not tough enough anymore. I used to be tougher than life. And I don’t understand why I’m whinging. I’m alive. Life is much easier than when I was young. But my head was tougher then and I didn’t need to ask for help, not from the post office, not from a mental health professional. 

I’m sorry that I can’t be here online much. You are nice people. Take care.

[tyme]

Hi @petrichor ,

Thank you for your post and updating us with how you are going.

You post really opened by eyes to realise how difficult life is with connection - whether internet connection, human connection - any connection.

Like you, I feel it would be great if you could connect with us more often. I'm wondering if there are opportunities for you to download our peer group chat transcripts when you have internet connection, so you can read through them when you are not connected to the internet?

If you are interested, you can download them from https://www.sane.org/peer-support/peer-group-chat/previous-chats

In the meantime, looking forward to staying in touch to help you through this challenging time. Remember, you may feel physically isolated, but you are not alone here in your mental health journey.

Kindest,

tyme

[TuxedoCat]

@petrichor, sounds like you've been very busy getting what you need to feel safe and grounded. You've been so resourceful finding a phone box, ensuring internet connection and even trying to get some things printed. And in the face of feeling particularly disconnected, I think you're being extra tough 💪

It's so common to feel anger at ourselves when we're struggling. But I think there is a real strength and power is asking for help and being honest about that. Is there something you can say to yourself to be a little kinder today? 

And it's great you have internet for the weekend! You can connect to the SANE webchat by clicking here if you feel like it would be useful. 

And I know people usually meet over at The Weekly Friday Feast. I bet they'd love you to say hello! 

Big hugs from afar,

TuxedoCat