Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Ali11]

That's such great news on both accounts @MumOfAnAnorexic. You are so supportive and eating together will help make mealtime (or eating in general) a much more natural event (rather than something that he will constantly feel ashamed from). You may actually find that you are naturally "mirroring" - have you heard of that before? 

[MumOfAnAnorexic]

Hi @Ali11,

I'm not sure what 'mirroring' is. Is it like setting an example of normal behaviour?

[Former-Member]

Hello dear @MumOfAnAnorexic 

You have every right to be feeling positive right now ... and proud too ... of your son, but also for and of yourself.  

Eating disorders are so very difficult to deal with for both the sufferer and their families.  Every little step taken to improve the situation and instill healthy order in their lives is major progress, and is to be celebrated.  I have every confidence that your son is going to be just fine.  And that is largely thanks to your timely intervention and care.  Its sounds as though the inpatient programme will serve to reinforce all the good groundwork already being done now.  I'm so pleased that your sons GP has got everything sorted so quickly and sensitively.  A good GP is gold.

Well done ....

Sherry 💕

[MumOfAnAnorexic]

Aww thank you @Former-Member. Yeah, I'm very proud of my son and I'm glad that his doctor and I intervened when we did. Things are looking up. 

[Appleblossom]

Hello @MumOfAnAnorexic 

I am glad you have some supports in place.  

I have a young son who was bullied for being overweight and is working at his weight and fitness.  It can easily slip over into being overly controlling about his food intake ,and what I bring into the house, going on a keto diet etc.

He is very different from your son, but I could relate a lot to your posts as well.

I think there are many aspects around food that move into mental health area.  For us there were severe food access issues on one side of the family.  

Take Care of you and your Son.

[MumOfAnAnorexic]

Hi @Appleblossom,

Yeah, it's hard to find a balance and it's easy to overlook eating disorders as just 'dieting' until it becomes severe. I hope you never have to go through this.

I try not to blame myself but I know that I wasn't really well educated about nutrition and let him get overweight in the first place. Still, there's no way that you can know that it's going to lead to an eating disorder, especially when media mostly just shows females with eating disorders so you think it will never happen to your son.

I think it's important for parents to be aware of eating disorders in males. It's probably more common than we think.

[Appleblossom]

Hugs  @MumOfAnAnorexic 

it would be heartbreaking to see...

Wishing you strength

[MumOfAnAnorexic]

Thank you @Appleblossom. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Sooooo hearing you with that @MumOfAnAnorexic .  The doctors I tried to approach regarding my husband didn’t believe me that it was an eating disorder.  Physical fitness and balanced approaches to food are important, but when they take over people’s lives in an unhealthy way, it can be really hard to get heard.

I kept having sticks poked at my health and body size, and told to leave him alone, while the associated control behaviours were tearing the household apart and creating mental health issues in the rest of us.  

It’s a really Insidious illness that comes in under the door.  It will only be when he is diagnosed, or he becomes so physically wrecked by the illness, that my efforts to reach help will be recognised for what they were, and still are.

[MumOfAnAnorexic]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope,

I agree. My son didn't get diagnosed until it was already pretty serious and it really does affect everyone else in the meantime. You start to ignore your own physical and mental health.

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with getting proper help