Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I'm really struggling atm..

I've just feeling overwhelmed and anxious- its so unpleasant and difficult to deal with. I think no one understands what I am going through and I feel like I fit in no where. I am find really hard to function and really don't feelcomfortable at all or have anyone to open up about how I feel.

I know I should be just focusing on the here and now but I have another 9 days until I see my specialist. I feel like I am fake and no one will ever like me and that I am not enough. I am sorry for being so negative.

[BlueBay]

@Former-Member
That sounds like me atm. Hang in you are so not fake and are worth every little bit. Do you like listening to music? Or make a cup of tea?
Thinking of you. Big hug 🤗 to you. Xxx

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, so relate to feelin the way you describe, like heavy clouds setting in blocking the view and light, with blackdog nibbling heels, creating so much self doubt. I don't know if I have much to offer accept to say - ride it out and be gentle with yourself. Pull out your coping box and strategy list. Keep chatting here. Stay grounded. Hugz xox

[Former-Member]

@BlueBay

You have just made me feel a little better and put a smile on my face with your kind words. I read that you are struggling too. Are you still thinking of going into hospital? I might think of going into hospital too, I really don't like going into hospital but I think its an option perhaps I will sleep better in there.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for trying to connect with me and thank you for being so open and honest with me. I wish I could express myself like you (@Former-Member) and @BlueBay . I just feel so stupuid and no one understands. I think I have heard you talk about coping box before and never really though too much about my coping stratgies because I struggle so much with this and feel really inadequate. So I try to block that part of me because I should have this down pat by now.

I hate how it creeps up slowly because I think I have not felt too bad but then again I have been going downhill since July and then I went further down since September and probably worse again the last 4 to 6 weeks and now the black dog is here and like you said is nibbling at my heels.

Do you think going into hospital for a few weeks would help me?? I think it mite, is wrong to go in there because I feel like it should be for people who really need it.

[Former-Member]

@Oxeangirl73, I personally don't gain much from public hospital admission, unless of cause, like a caged animal they are keeping me alive away from harm. But the private system might be more helpful if you have cover and think there's something there that will help - why not! Maybe for a week, for a break, assessment and direction. What would you hope to gain from going in? I'm sure if someone more urgent came in they'd ask you to shorten your stay. Besides, you too have equal rights to care. Do you have a good GP / psychiatrist to discus this with. Hugz xox

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member I agree with you re public health system - no way will I ever go into the public system and even if I am really unwell and I never have been , I think thats one way of  getting that fight back inside.

I do have private cover I would only consider going into a private clinic, and even that scares me too lol. I am just wanting to go in to find some better ways to cope, reduce my symtoms of depression and hopefully come out feeling a bit better.

I think it would not happen until I finish my volunteer course which is next wed, I could go into the private clinic that is close by to where I do my course and that way I can attend this and also get the help I need. My concern going into hospital is that I will have a rebound of symptoms when I leave hospital.

I do have a good psych but no GP atm