Lived Experience Forum

[Captain24]

This could be triggering

I feel really low @tyme 

I have an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Im miserable. Im depressed. I feel worthless and useless. I feel like I don’t deserve to be here. I just can’t get out of my head. I’m struggling to see a healthy way out. 

Oh and mums dog has a heart condition and Pix had just had a massive run and was overheated so it was just a little rest for her! 

[tyme]

Hugsssss @Captain24 .

This may sound challenging, but sometimes it is NOT about finding ways to get out of feeling that way.  Rather, at times it is learning to sit with the unpleasantness.... 

This sounds absurd, but I learnt this from my therapist. He said it's totally okay to sit in that 'yucky' feeling, and that I had to learn to be okay with it. That way, I wouldn't be trying so hard and exerting all my energy to getting rid of the unpleasantness.

He mentioned that sitting with it (not wallowing in it) allows it to come and go. Whereas always working to push it away causes it to stay longer...

Tell me what you think about that? Still sounds weird to be even this day....

[tyme]

Btw, is Angel a long-haired chihuahua too? @Captain24 

[Captain24]

So basically accept it as it is? @tyme.

I don’t have any strength left to fight it and I suppose you could say I’m wallowing in it. I’ve been trying to ride it out for over a week but I just keep going deeper. I’ve gone from having a little bit of hope to none at all. I’m scared of what might happen if I keep going down further. 

Angel is a Japanese Chin. It’s a rare breed in Australia. She’s 10 and in the final stages of heart failure. 

[tyme]

That's the part I can't handle @Captain24 . Makes me cry for a pet to go.... esp after 10 years!

As for accepting it? Well, can you change anything right now? If not, I guess the other option is to sit in it. And sitting in it doesn't mean wallowing in it because wallowing takes energy too!

Hrmmm... I really don't know the science behind this one. To sit in it, I simply 'feel it' then I:

- describe its colour

- describe its shape

- describe how it feels

- describe the weight of it

- describe where i feel it in the body....

I used to hate doing this at first - to the point of tears! I begged my therapist not to go through it...but he insisted... and somehow, by the time you go through each of these descriptions, the sadness doesn't feel so painful anymore. It sort of makes you an 'observer' rather than a 'wallower'???

[Captain24]

I’ll be devastated when she goes but I’ll have to help Pixie cope! 

I can’t change it @tyme I’ve tried. I’ll give it a try. Im willing to try anything to try and keep me safe and keep me out of hospital. I need to get out of my head. Thanks so much for a different suggestion. I really do appreciate it. I’m sorry to be a problem. It seems to be happening a lot lately. 

[tyme]

The most incredible thing with you is that you are willing to give things a try @Captain24 . That makes all the difference.

As I said, I normally cringe at this technique, but I know it really does make a difference. I'm no expert, but I do believe this is a 'defusion' technique. I did a quick search about defusion and found this https://thepsychologygroup.com/defusion/

All the best, and I'll catch up with you later in the week....

[Captain24]

Thank you for being there for me tonight @tyme 

[Captain24]

Even after working all day I’m still not ok. Now I’m overtired as well. It’s not a good combination. 

[Bow]

Same @Captain24 

I’m so tired and not being given any of my meds to help me sleep. 
hope you can get some good sleep tonight