Lived Experience Forum

[Bluebird1]

Hi

I don't even really know where to start.
I've not spoken to people about my mental health before I was kinda brought up to believe that if you feel out of sorts you just have to suck it up and get on with things .
But after all these years I feel like I Just can't I've tried and I can't I feel anxious all the time when ever something is stressful or scary I think of the worst case senario and it goes around and around in my head for hours sometimes days .It effects most of my life I've even started to do certain things compulsively check doors are locked 3 or 4 times taking photos of it so if I worry later I can prove to myself that it is locked,touching light switches and certain things before I can leave it's not as much at home but at work .
I know that most people do these things but is this excessive I don't know ?
When it was just feeling nervous alot I wasn't worried but I'm older now I have a degree but can't bring myself to go for jobs I want cause I panic I get sick and my heart feels like it will implode it's like I'm there but I'm not ,like I'm underwater and I'm drowning so I run I've left interviews cause I just can't breath .
I don't know what to do I went to a doctor years ago and told her how I felt and shes said everyone gets nervous and I should just drink herbal tea ,I spoke to another doctor at the same practice and he said I should be grateful that I don't live in a war torn country that my problems were minor in comparison I felt so ashamed afterwards that I stoped talked about it .
I feel really alone and I need to know other people feel this way that I'm not a weak selfish person ,I have so many good things in my life someone who loves me and tries to understand,family,friends and I just want to be happy and enjoy theese things but I don't know where to start .
I'm sorry if theese sounds rambley it's 3.30am and I can't sleep I just wanted to see if anyone out there could offer me some advice .

[NikNik]

Hi @Bluebird1

Welcome to the Forums.

If your mental health is preventing you from doing things in your life - whether that be big or small (leaving the house, through to going for that job) it's definitely worth chatting to someone about it. I'm horrified at your experiences with those doctors. Would I be right in assuming they were GPs?

You absolutely have a right to seek treatment, and in fact I think it's very courageous and inspiring that you are reaching out - rather than just let it get worse.

Some suggestions are:

- see another GP and ask for a mental health plan.This will get the processes going to get a referral so you can access your bulk billed psychologist sessions. 

- if you're in a position to, bypass the GP and go to a psychologist. You will be out of pocket, but you can at least have one appointment to see what they say

- practice relaxation and/or mindfulness strategies. These strategies can be a good circuit breaker when your body starts to show signs of anxiety. You can simply google these terms or download an app like 'smiling minds'

Do any other members have suggestions or advice?

[utopia]

@bluebell1 - beautiful name by the way.
Firstly the way those doctors treated you was so very wrong. There are some very ignorant people in the world. And I think you were just unlucky enough to stumble upon 2 in the one practice.
Mental Illness is not a shameful thing. It simply means that a part of your body isn't functioning as well as it should be. But instead of being your liver or kidney - it's yoyr brain.
Tge good news is, that once you get help from a specialist - you will find that your quality of life improves.
so please, find the courage to go back and see your gp. Take your partner with you or another person - who can act as a support should you need it.
Explain to the gp that you need a referral to a specialist who deals with anxiety. Don't take no for an answer. This is where a support person with you can help. I took my mum with me to my gp - as my gp wasn't hearing me. So glad I did. With therapy my life has improved dramatically.
I wish you all the best in your journey to a new, healthier, less anxious you.