Lived Experience Forum

[Marie40]

Hello, I am a new member.

I used to have bad ptsd, anxiety and depression, well I say used to but does it ever go away? 

Let's say it was managed, I was managing and my life was going well.

Enter covid, I was doing my dream job overseas and covid happened, my school went bankrupt and I lost my job, I had to leave the country I was in and return to SA. I lost most of my money and belongings and my pet!

I thought I was managing this too, until today when I went loco on a kind tax agent who was trying to help me. I cried uncontrollably and ever since my panic and anxiety have been building. I completed a quiz and little did I know but things have been bad for a while now and I have been ignoring them. 

I haven't been sleeping and when I do it is little and on and off. I have been either eating nothing or everything. Just getting out of bed is sometimes a struggle and this has not helped with finding new work. 

I feel like a failure and that I am always letting my family down. My confidence is down and I am sad all the time, I miss the life I had made.

I tried calling helplines but just couldn't talk to anyone, I feel guilty for needing help and for taking up time someone else could use so when I found this forum I figured I would try it out. 

Thank you if you took the time to read this, I am aware I word vomited on the page but I have been keeping this in.

[Eden1919]

@Marie40  welcome, it is ok to not be coping with such a big life change it must have been very hard to go through all that, covid has turned everyone’s lives upside down and we are all having to find new ways to cope. Don’t feel guilty for feeling bad that is a perfectly normal and ok reaction, do you think just letting yourself cry and let it out for a while would help? Idk I am not good at suggestions but I am sorry you are going through this and I hope you find the support you need here. 

[Lostandalone]

Welcome @Marie40  

never feel guilty for needing help.... everyone needs help every so often

we are here to listen to you... sit with you virtually holding your hand... and comfort you

covid has thrown a curve ball at many of our lives... and we can relate to how you are feeling 

[Caringsoul73]

Hi @Marie40 ,

I'm glad you've started a discussion and reached out on the forum. I don't think you should feel guilty for talking on helpline during a time when you need care just as much as anyone. 
Covid has put a strain on many people and it sounds like you've been dealt a difficult time yourself. You are not a failure. 
Keep posting through here, there's lots of nice people here who are facing similar problems. Someone is always listening. 

[Caringsoul73]

Hi @Marie40 ,

I'm glad you've started a discussion and reached out on the forum. I don't think you should feel guilty for talking on helpline during a time when you need care just as much as anyone. 
Covid has put a strain on many people and it sounds like you've been dealt a difficult time yourself.