Lived Experience Forum

[Neb]

i hate being so low, know it is bad cause I am thinking of exit strategies.....not good. Went to the GP to get a referral to the Mental health services, she is not my regular doctor.....you have to plan in advance to see him. What a crummy system we live in. Anyhow the she doctor is one of those who believe you just need a good kick in the derrière. And a change of meds.....categorically said no as I get tardive dyskinesia with just about everything.

i hauled my screaming self into the big outdoors and walked for an hour, being a catholic said my lay mans breviary, and found that a lady I know is very ill. Why does God take much loved folk and leave the useless garbage to drag on.....

yep, I am wallowing in self pity!

[NikNik]

Hi @Neb

Completely okay to have the attack of the sads (I like that phrase!)

What I am concerned about is that you mentioned you're "thinking of exit strategies". Would I be right in saying you are referring to suicide?

If so, things must be really rough for you right now and you really need to talk to someone about those thoughts. Unfortunately we are not a crisis service, but there are some great crisis services that you may find helpful:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or crisis chat

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Good on you  for getting yourself out of the house and giving yourself some self care. Are you feeling better now?

Are you safe tonight?

[Neb]

Thank you NikNik! Yep, I woke up this morning and grumpily thanked the Lord for another day. I have rung a depression hotline where I live, but it is just too damned hard....the caller has to direct the conversation and the other party just says yes or no, I mean WTF.....

hopefully the the community referral will be days not weeks away, I wish I could cry....think that might help. I have eaten a decent breakfast and having a coffee....so glad I cleaned up the dirty dishes in the kitchen before going to bed last night. I will be going for a short walk in an hour or so and spend the morning at my knitting and crochet group.....which I love and so am hopeful this will brighten me up. Doubt I will exit stage left with a knitting needle or a crochet hook😐

[Outlanderali]

Hi @Neb

Sorry to hear you are not feeling the best lately. 

I like your idea of going out for a walk and then going to your knitting and crochet group. Sometimes all it takes is some quiet time of reflection, or a good time doing something we love with our friends to make us feel a little but better. Being sad is okay, but when you do start thinking about exit strategies that is an indication you may need to get a little buit more help.

I know @NikNik gave you some numbers, but I would also suggest calling the Suicide call back service on 1300 659 467. There are some great people you can talk to there about whats going on for you at the moment, and any feelings you may be having. If you still feel a but down after your group give them a call and have a chat.

Feel better

Outlanderali

[Neb]

Amazingly, I woke this morning feeling MUCH better! More MIRACULOUS , it stayed that way all day. I am so very very relieved. The day was sunny and warmish, and the daffodils and magnolia, and blossom trees are blushing into bloom. I suspect the weather does affect me, but it is primarily the old black dog. I am grateful for this forum, and the kindness of those who responded to my cry for help.

although we shall never meet, please do not think your endeavours are fruitless. I was able to socialise today, this is a problem when feeling so awful, and of course this is a positive as well. My friend's mum remains very ill, but this has also helped jolt me. I trust this episode is behind me , but I shall be vigilant in keeping safe.

Again, thank you! Despite saying your mission is not crisis counselling, it was of great benefit!

[NikNik]

Really glad to read you're doing better today @Neb !!

[Appleblossom]

I can relate to be so depressed and clogged up so not being able to talk.  Yet that was decades ago and I am still here ... with a stack more words ... I kinda liked your knitting needle humour .. it somehow helps to be able to address things head on and move on.

Anyway, hope the days improve ... weather or no ..