Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hey there,
I'm new here, so not sure how this all works! What's been bothering me lately is that I think I might be hallucinating. A bit of background info: I have BP2, so I've never (to my knowledge) had hallucinations before. I'm currently living overseas, that's why I'm asking this here and not going to my GP or psychiatrist, because the mental health system where I live isn't great, and my first appointment with a psychiatrist is in 3 months, and GPs don't know much about mental illness compared to in Australia. SO I thought I'd ask you 🙂
Anyway, I keep waking up early in the morning and hearing my alarm (I lost my phone 2 weeks ago, so it can't actually be the alarm - plus, it's not exactly the same time every morning, it varies by like half an hour to an hour). I wake up really suddenly and then I realise I can hear the alarm, but so quietly that I lie in bed really still and listen intently, to hear it more loudly and figure out where it is, before I realise that it can't be my phone. Realising it can't be real doesn't change the fact that I can hear it, ever so quietly, so I have to rationally talk myself out of it and convince myself to stop hearing it. I usually do something to distract myself and after 15 minutes I've successfully turned off the sound in my head.

The worst part is that it stresses me out so much, and every time I hear it, I jump out of bed with my heart pounding, and when I realise it can't be real but can still hear it, I feel like I'm going crazy.
So what do you guys think?
side note: this has been happening most mornings for about a week and a half. 
Also, I've been having panic attacks this year, and I did see a GP and then later a psychiatrist about it, and he was all like 'panic attacks can be a symptom of psychosis', which really freaked me out, so I didn't go there again, but maybe it was worth mentioning...
And in case you're wondering, I am taking my meds 😉

[Pokemongirl]

Hi,

The fact that you are rationalising is good. Apparently stress can bring on psychosis/hallucinations.... I haven't had much experiences with hearing voices or noises.... however I have had once or twice heard 'alarm' really softly when I know it shouldn't be there.... but not woken up by them consistently like your experience.

When I heard mine, I was more faciniated rather than concern....fascinated how the mind can work.... I just went about doing my thing....(knowing that I'm not in psychosis.... as if I am, I won't know and everyone knew) 😜

I'd say given that 1) you rationalised quite logically. 2) you woke up by them quite possibly residue from dreamland/drowsiness 3) the 'alarm' is very very soft, which can be imaginary 4) you may be stress atm....

So, don't worry too much and work yourself up about it ❤️❤️

[utopia]

@Former-Member. My panic attacks were due to my PTSD but it had nothing to do with psychosis & my PTSD was successfully treated. And now I no longer have the panic attacks.
I wonder if the alarm sound reminds you of anything from your past? Is there a trigger - a trauma from your past that could be associated with a similar sound?
This might be something you could ask your gp when you return to Australia.