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Something’s not right

Ashley8
Casual Contributor

Going Crazy

Hi my Adult daughter is driving me crazy !! She is so demanding and critical of me, verbally abuses me in front of her teenage children - my grandkids. I feel exasperated, I’m nearly 70 and it’s starting to make my health deteriorate !!! I need help 😔

9 REPLIES 9
tyme
Peer Support Worker

Re: Going Crazy

Hi @Ashley8 ,

 

I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. There is only so much one can handle. Do you have any supports in place for yourself whether it be friends, family or professional supports?

 

I'm hear, listening.

 

If you type "@" in front of my username, I will receive a notification of your reply. Like this @tyme .

Re: Going Crazy

Not really, my friends tell me to stop seeing my daughter but I keep trying to support her as she is a single mother.

Re: Going Crazy

Perhaps it's not about helping or not helping, but rather setting some healthy boundaries. e.g. which days/times you will help, when you can't help, the respect you deserve etc?

 

Have you ever spoken to her about boundaries? @Ashley8 

Re: Going Crazy

She breaks boundaries by begging and pleading with me then gets her children to ask if they can come to my house for the weekend as their mum said I didn’t want ant them ???

Re: Going Crazy

I'm sorry this is happening for you @Ashley8 . 

 

I'm wondering whether there is an opportunity for you to sit down with your daughter to discuss boundary-setting and and the 'what-ifs' if boundaries are broken. I guess it is important for her to know how you are feeling about everything that is happening.

 

Monday-Friday 10am-10pm AEDT, you are welcome to call SANE's counselling drop-in line if you wanted to speak to someone: 1800 187 263 

 

I think it is important you find a support network to help you at this time.

Re: Going Crazy

Thankyou for your assistance this evening. I am very grateful. I will contact Sane support during week days / times 

So nice to have this forum to let out ones hurts, pain  and heartache’s

goodnight and God Bless you 😊

Owen45
Senior Contributor

Re: Going Crazy

Very stressful situation 

Re: Going Crazy

@Ashley8 

Sounds very hard, but sadly not unusual these days.  Somehow we have moved from the children should never be heard to ... the opposite.

I tried to focus on being child centred in my family and teaching, but including bonding with parents if possible. Children also have responsibilities and should grow into them gradually.  Absolving children of all responsibilities til the day they are 18 and can drink and get a licence ... is a very silly narrow minded society IMO.

Socially and culturally it is not a smart move ... and the prevailing peer pressure enables many to be overly demanding ... and older mature people watch and try to provide balance ... maybe they will regret it after we have all passed ... but that is a shocking loss of cultural wisdom and support and good sense of community.  Many potential good times ... 

 

Boundaries have their place but are not a panacea or solve all, in fact too rigid boundaries can be problematic. Can also lead to social fragmentation.

 

Get some support for yourself @Ashley8 and take time out til you can cope better.  

amber22
Peer Support Worker

Re: Going Crazy

Hey there @Ashley8 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, that must be really tough for you to go through, especially as it is your own daughter it can be really hurtful. 

 

Have you tried to voice this to your daughter? Sometimes when people are critical to their loved ones they might not realise that it is coming from a place that is hurting them. I feel like we have less of a filter when it comes to people we love and people that we are close with, so maybe bringing it to her awareness that this is actually hurting you may open her eyes a bit to the things she is saying/ tone she is saying it in. 

 

Sitting with you,

Amber22

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