10-06-2019 08:22 PM
I really needed to jump on here to vent. I've worked so hard on myself the past couple of months trying to improve on my mental state. I was doing so well for a while but now I'm just getting random bouts of feeling really blue and not loving life. I have to constantly remind myself that things could be worse. I feel so guilty because I know that there are people out there with much less than what I have yet I still feel like every passing day is pointless. At the moment I'm just trying desperately to find things to look forward to just to get my head out of the bottom of the hole.
I've had some bad thoughts which I've had to wipe from my thoughts as best I can. I just keep thinking of my kids and how much they need their mother. I wish I knew why I'm feeling so crappy in myself.
What does everyone else do when they are feeling this way? What keeps you going? I've hidden myself in my bedroom away from my husband so that I can just be in my own company. I could lay in bed in the dark and cry myself to sleep.
I wish I didn't feel so worthless. I wish I didn't hate myself so much.
10-06-2019 02:38 AM
@Inmybubble Hi Inmybubble so sorry that things are bad for you atm. Hoping that as I write this you are sound asleep and when you wake up the day will be sunny for you and that you will be feeling better inyourself ever just a little bit better . Things that help me are my children. I don't know where I would be without my children. Particularly my daughter. She is my rock.
Taking pleasure in the little things that life provides like going for walks in the early morning before life gets crazy. Looking at the stars and the lights on the bay where I live help ease my mind. If things get on top of me like happened last week I have lots of cat naps and sleep really helps. But yeah taking pleasure in the little things. I hope this helps and that your day improves. greenpeaxxx
10-06-2019 05:46 AM
Hi @Inmybubble there's not much I could add that hasn't been said by @greenpea , I've popped in just to say hi and welcome. Many of us here understand what you are going through, so if it's of any small comfort, you are not alone in your struggles.
I hope today has a ray of light in it somewhere for you.
11-06-2019 10:58 PM
Hi @Inmybubble 👋.
I just read read your post and was wondering how you are going now?
It’s so hard to be in that headspace of knowing youve got a good life but it not being enough. That’s a me too one often.
Have you got a psychologist you see or are you on any medication to help? Sometimes these things help. Personally my antidepressants help although they are not a cure my depression isn’t as bad and most days I can find some ok moments. Therapy has been really helpful this year too.
Best wishes. 😊
11-06-2019 11:34 AM
Hi @Inmybubble , nice to meet you. I don't have many more suggestions, but, trying to stay busy and doing positive things that you enjoy. For myself, I like to colour in and play games as it distracts my mind and seems to ease my worries. I used to make baskets and would like to get back into that at some point. I also spend a bit of time researchng and exploring random subjects that interest Me.
It sounds like you have the right mindset to Me. Do you keep a journal? It might help you have a sense of accomplishment if you see what you have accomplished each day as you write your experiences and thoughts down. I used to do this when I was younger to help motivate myself.
Stay positive and let us know how you are feeling. Wishng you all the best.
Ps : I like your @nickname
13-06-2019 06:57 PM
Hi @Inmybubble, it sounds like you're going through a tough time right now. Do you have a psychologist or psychiatrist that you are able to talk to? We hope that you are ok, let us know how you are.
10-07-2019 09:00 PM
Hey everyone, sorry it's taken me so long to reply back to you. I'm really grateful for all of the wonderful supportive messages that I've received on here. I've been doing a lot of work on myself since. It's taken a lot for me to get past the negative thoughts and I'm slowly getting through back to a better place.
I definitely don't love myself any more than what I did. There is so much I need to teach myself to love, but my outlet of late has been back into regular exercise. It's been my outlet to replace the emotional eating that I was fighting the habit on. It has felt good to have physical wellbeing to focus on. I suppose it's like my lifeline at the moment. The problem is hanging onto it and not giving in to self-destruction and doubt. It doesn't take much for me to throw the towel in and start to hate myself all over again. My worst trait is comparing myself to other people's success and my lack of it. My lack of self-confidence is also really bad.
Each day at a time... Sending hugs out to everyone.
14-07-2019 08:55 PM
Sending love @Inmybubble, you're not alone in feeling that pendulum of self love and self doubt. What have you been doing to work on your self esteem? Regular exercise is such a good thing to be doing. The endorphins and chemicals released help with our moods. Have you heard of this author? He is supposed to be really well known for self esteem kind of work. You're right though, one day at a time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rxplCoFAao
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