False Memories?

[Wolf98]

I've been recently told by my gp I have bpd, I also have depression and am currently unmedicated and untreated as they havnt started yet. My problem is sifting through very important memories I have from the past 3 yrs and decifering which are reality and which have been conjured up in my mind through extremely stressful conversations. I don't believe I would have done these certain things however I have very cloudy visual memories of these things happening as they were told to me that I did them and there's a possibility my mind filled in the blanks to create a false memory. How normal is this for someone with bpd? How likely is it that these memories are false? I have also spent most of my life being raised by a mind manipulator so very susceptible to this happening.

Sorry I'm extremely confused and don't quite understand all this but having bpd makes sense and I'm just trying to fix my family as well as myself with this situation.

[outlander]

hi @Wolf98 and welcome
i have bpd myself and do get cloudy memories or memories that i don't know are real. for me though that is when im dissociating and feel really detached from myself.
Do you think these memories will be something youll be ok to discuss with a psychologist to help you to learn more about them or what might be causing it?

[Wolf98]

I've already booked in with a psychologist and a counsellor luckily and yes I need to decifer if these are real memories or not. I've been completely detached from my inner self for far too long. Do you ever find out if those cloudy memories really happened or not?

[Wolf98]

Thank you for the welcome

[outlander]

sometimes i do/don't find out if its real @Wolf98 if it involves other people sometimes i bring it up in a convo and casual like
for example i couldn't remember if i drove my mums car down the shops while she was out cause i needed to get a few things (i cant drive her car as its a manual and not licensed to) so i brang it up and said hey mum i had i had this weird dream and went into the details. it turns out it was actually a dream/day dream after we had spoken about me learning to drive her car in case there was an emergency.
that is just one example, im sure i can think of many more but that one is one that comes to mind.

Do any of your thoughts/memories involve events with other people? if so would you feel comfortable in bringing it up in a casual conversation to see if it is real or if it was just a dream/day dream sort of scenario?

[outlander]

also please feel free to join in to any threads you like as well or i can introduce you on some other threads if that's better for you @Wolf98

a little forum tip also is to put an @ before a members name and itll bring a drop box- you just click on the name and itll tag them for you. if your in the quick reply section youll need to manually type the members name

[Wolf98]

They do but not situations I wish to speak with them about. Aka abuse

[Appleblossom]

@Wolf98 

@outlander 

[outlander]

@Appleblossom

totally understandable @Wolf98 I really hope that your psychologist and supports will be able to go into more details with you and help you work through whats happening for you

[frog]

Hi @Wolf98. It sounds very hard not knowing which memories to trust. It's good you are seeing a psych and getting some support. I had a difficult time re bad things that happened to me in terms of struggling to trust my memories and myself. It took a long time to unravel, and although it's still painful I feel more confident in myself and my mind and my judgment. I'm glad you found the forum and hope that chatting to others here will help. Wishing you well.