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Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @BlueBay , thanks very much for sharing. Im rly sorry it was a painful experience for u.

There doesnt seem to b a lot of research behind it or hard scientific evidence in support of it which concerns me somewhat. Based on that, and the cost per session, im not sure that my husband wld let me do it even if i wanted to, which im not sure at this stage whether i do or not. It does scare me tbh.

Thanks for sharing some insight from ur experience. X

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @eth , thank u for sharing all that information. Iv only had the 1 appt with the psych, she wants to formulate the plan at next appt then commence emdr at following appt. Its so expensive! Im glad its working for u. She rekns only 2-3 sessions (tho did say it cld b more) but judging by what ur saying thats a significant underestimation. We havnt done ne 'trauma mapping' other than me just share my lifes experiences including the trauma, mayb that wld b next session if i decided to go ahead. It sounds like it has rly helped u. I hav phobias that hav arisen from these events - im wondering if they wld also dissipate or whether they wld need to b dealt with in a different way. It does worry me that im in such a state with anxiety and related symptoms that r torturous and with me all day every day, whether it might b too much for me to deal with at the moment. But then im not sure what i wld get from going to the psychologist if i didnt do it. That was certainly her recommendation for the best progress. What r ur sessions like when u go to the psychologist but dont do emdr? R they helpful too? Im just rly messed up at the moment, and confused and not in a good place to b making decisions. Im just in such a bad way and it doesnt matter what my pdoc tries it just doesnt seem to help or makes me worse. Just at my wits end.

Neway, got off topic! Thanks again for the info @eth , happy to hear anything else that u think might b helpful. Thank u for taking the time to share.

💜doglover

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @Doglover; thanks for the tag 🙂

 

Research shows regression therapy re-traumatises victims more times than not. Obviously this isn't helpful for recovery, but even moreso for the brain.

 

Severe symptoms over a long period actually damages the brain, just like a car accident would the physical body. It needs time, rest, calm and slow progressive insight into habitual thoughts and reactions to heal.

 

@Zoe7 hit the nail on the head; focusing on the present is a far more gentle avenue to desensitise. One moment of clarity may change your world for the better in an instant.

 

I had a long winded panic attack one day and decided to sit quietly and go over the day to look for the trigger. I let my physical responses lead the way.

 

That morning I was faced with telling a man I didn't like what he was doing. (Tradie at home) The anxiety rose to about a 9 remembering so I left that memory and asked myself; "Why then?" It made sense it was my fear of men and he was a threat to me, but as I pondered this, I realised it wasn't him at all, it was me not being able to speak up for fear of consequences due to past bullying.

 

In an instant the panic stopped; completely! Regression therapy can't achieve this. Learning about ourselves and our current reactions is a far gentler way to understand the 'why's'. At least in my opinion. Being a silent and non judgemental 'observer' of yourself and your reasons/beliefs sheds light on you, not your abusers or events.

 

This experience led the way forward for clarity re childhood fears and how they present themselves in the here-and-now because that's where our triggers are.

 

Hope this helps. You're doing a great job of being pro-active and dedicated to your recovery. Well done!

 

That goes for everyone btw.

Hope xo Heart

 

Edit: When I said 'Completely!', I meant for that day/specific reason, not cured of it. Thought I needed to clarify this just in case it was taken out of context. 🙂

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @Doglover . I have no experience with this but just want to tag @utopia as I know she has.....but only if you are feeling up to responding utopia.... no pressure to at all. 

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @Appleblossom , thank u for ur thoughts and feedback. I am in a rly bad way at the moment with anxiety and related symptoms that r torturous every day and it doesnt matter what meds they try it doesnt help and usually makes it worse. So i am concerned about doing anything to make things even worse. Also from what iv read, thrs not a huge amount of scrientific evidence in regard to the process, and i am concerned about being re-traumatised as some here who hav so kindly responded hav bn. Its pretty concerning. But then if i dont do this, im not sure what il get out of going to the psychologist. Do u go to a psychologist regularly? If so, what do the sessions look like and do u find them beneficial? My family hav said i rly must b seeing a psychologist on a long term basis, but im just not sure what i would get out of it. Just talking about things doesnt make them any better i dont believe. It might help to get it off ur chest so to speak, but i dont think it brings any healing or recovery.

 

I dont hav ne child rearing responsibilities, and am unable to work at the moment, but do hav some challenges in my relationship with my husband, especially in the area of MI (he just doesnt understand) so that is definitely a source of friction and pain in my life. I wish that were not so.

 

Well thanks again for sharing Apple, i rly appreciate it. Hugs to u too.

Doglover 

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Thanks @Teej , much appreciated.

@utopia 

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @Zoe7 , thanks so much for ur response and for sharing ur experience. Given the state that i am in at the moment, which is not good, i definitely hav my concerns about going back and revisiting past traumas, with good reason it sounds like. I just feel like im in such a mess at the the monent, with pretty much every med they try not agreeing with me and me having torturous symptoms all day every day, that mayb now just isnt the time. The problem is that now is the time iv got the little bit of financial help from the mhcp, and my mum is helping out too for the remaining 6 sessions so financially wld b the right time, otherwise in the future it wld cost me $290 per session which i just wldnt b able ro afford. 

So do u see a psychologist regularly? Do u find that it helps u? In what ways? My family hav insisted that i need to see a psychologist, long term, and im just not sure if i dont do this emdr, what il get out of it. Talking only helps for the moment when ur getting things off ur chest but for me i dont believe it brings healing and recovery. So is there any benefit to seeing a psychologist? Does it help u overcome trauma, phobias, etc? Dont know if u can answer those questions, but interested to hear ur take. Im so sorry it caused u to b suicidal again - the ongoing support u had after that, was that from the psychologist, or ur team as a whole?

Im not sure that i cld immerse myself into emdr therapy and b totally comfortable with that direction bcoz of the fact that for many ppl it is retraumatising, and there also isnt a lot of scientific evidence or studies about it that rly prove its validity. So theres a rly big question mark there for me.

How r u doing now zoe? Are u more stable and able to function better in life? 

I rly appreciate the time u hav taken to share ur experience and thoughts with me. Thank u and hugs to u.

Doglover

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

I have been seeing psychologists for nearly 30 years. @Doglover 

However often it has only been a couple of sessions per year as that was all I could afford at the time.

 

In the last few years I have been able to afford more and found I am entitled to more and that has certainly helped my outlook and mental life.

 

The quality of the sessions has really varied.  There is no one size fits all.  Regarding trauma work, if you are being retraumatised in your intimate life or by opening it up in therapy, it is hard and unlikely to succeed.  I had to leave my husband against my very deep wishes, and started to logically unpack my experience and gradually got better, but over the long term.

 

I believe that if men cannot understand and be compassionate to their life partner, something is going on that needs both sides to work on things, and its not just a mental illness thing.  My ex husband and had serious mental health issues of his own, had been hospitalised a few times etc, before I met him and I helped him finction better, so had a different attitude to mental health in general ... but was immature as he always went on about statistics for male mental health ... and thought it was alright to be awful to his wife.... very sexist.

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

I have been seeing psychologists for nearly 30 years. @Doglover 

However often it has only been a couple of sessions per year as that was all I could afford at the time.

 

In the last few years I have been able to afford more and found I am entitled to more and that has certainly helped my outlook and mental life.

 

The quality of the sessions has really varied.  There is no one size fits all.  Regarding trauma work, if you are being retraumatised in your intimate life or by opening it up in therapy, it is hard and unlikely to succeed.  I had to leave my husband against my very deep wishes, and started to logically unpack my experience and gradually got better, but over the long term.

 

I believe that if men cannot understand and be compassionate to their life partner, something is going on that needs both sides to work on things, and its not just a mental illness thing.  My ex husband and had serious mental health issues of his own, had been hospitalised a few times etc, before I met him and I helped him finction better, so had a different attitude to mental health in general ... but was immature as he always went on about statistics for male mental health ... and thought it was alright to be awful to his wife.... 

Re: EMDR - Has anyone done this

@Doglover I very much agree with @Hope4me in that knowing ourselves is far more beneficial than going over and over the past. The past does inpact how we think about ourselves and the place we have in this world but it is in learning not to let that also define us that I believe the real healing lies. This is of course easier said than done and with trauma also often comes a negative self concept and feelings of worthlessness. The smallest things that many others would brush off have a massive effect on us. This is often because we have not had the protection or kindness afforded to us in the past and therefore do not recognise it in the present.

 

I had a very good team around me when I was at my worst. I saw my GP daily and she would text or call on weekends as well - and often a follow up at night to see how I was. I also saw my psych weekly (sometimes twice a week) for many months. My GP appointment was always after these sessions to help calm me also. My GP was actually the one who insisted I stop the EMDR sessions after I presented to her in immense distress - at the time I did not expect to make it through that night. That was the last time I saw my psych for over a year as even the thought of revisiting therapy with her was traumatising for me. My pdoc took over the counselling role after she and my GP discussed what the psych sessions were doing to me. I do consider myself extremely lucky to have had the constant and ongoing support from both of them. My pdoc did discuss some of the research into EMDR and also research that shows that it is not always a good thing to revisit past trauma as it can infact be more detrimental to some - that was certainly the case with me.

 

It is not like I don't know the effects the past have had on me - I am very much aware. So a lot of the work we have done over the last couple of years have been working on living more in the present and learning to deal with those negative feelings I have about myself. I do not need to revisit the past to do that - I very much know the origins of those feelings and is serves me no purpose to go back there. In saying all that I do have mutlitple triggers. DBT and meds have helped me deal better with some of those triggers - and also a very supportive team around me. Part of that supportive team is people at work. I went back to work this year after more than 2 years on leave. The colleagues I work with are a wonderful bunch of people and whilst they do not know the ins and outs of why I was on leave some of them know that it was for mental health reasons. They check in with me regularly and treat me with dignity and respect - what more can you ask from the people you work with. I am very fiortunate to have this kind of support from many different avenues.

 

None of that means that each day is a picnic - the opposite infact. I still struggle everyday with how I feel about myself and about life in general. There are some days that the sun shines a little brighter but most days it still feels cloudy and grey. I do get some satisfaction out of work - kids don't know you are struggling - they just know how present and caring you are to them ...and that helps. It gives me a sense of purpose and belonging as well ...two things I have really struggled with for the majority of my life.

 

I have gone back to see the psychologist this year but a lot of what we talk about now is based on how I am going and ways to move forward. I do not see her regularly anymore - more just a check in every couple of months. I do still see my pdoc and GP regularly (one of them each week). It is more regular checkins with them too now. We have changed meds again over the last couple of months as one of the previous ones I was taking was not as effective anymore. 

 

In further response to your questions I don't think that you should consider EMDR just because it is affordable at present - have a conversation with your psych about what other forms of therapy they can offer as well before you make any decision. 'Talk' therapy may be what you need for a bit longer - the repeated check ins regularly where you can unload what is on your mind. If that gives you some relief then it is worth considering to persist with. I get the feeling from what you have said here that you may not be in the right place for EMDR - it is an invasive and difficult type of therapy to go through if you do not have continued support in place.

 

Whatever you decide go into it with you eyes wide open and have enough confidence to tell your psych exactly what you need out of therapy and do not let them determine it for you. Ultimately ypuo need to be comfortable with what you do or do not discuss and the direction those sessions go in.

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