Lived Experience Forum

[Sandellma]

Hi,

I am brand new to this forum and was wondering if anyone has had much experience with a delusional disorder?

I still struggle with my delusion each day and have been posting all over the next as the delusion seems to be real to me and when I work it out in my head it just keeps seeming right

I have seen heaps of pysch about it and currently working with two

Thanks in advance

[karo2016]

Hello. I'm new to this forum, too, and have dealt with the same thing in the past.

What sort of delusion do you believe you are experiencing?

[Former-Member]

Hello @Sandellma

Welcome to the forums! I hope you find some comfort in connecting with other members 

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your delusions, however, is it good that you have professional support.

Here is a thread that you might be interested in reading through - it is now closed. It is a topic tuesday thread on psychosis. I wonder if there are any other members that could share their experiences? @Sehnsucht, @Linmerc, @Snuchu? 

Take care,

Jac-in-the-box.  

[Sandellma]

My delusions are that if I put on of my ideas in to practice then I could completely rule the world

Like a put an idea forward to HSBC the other day and many of my friends have heard it and basically said yes it a great idea

The problem is when I put this idea into its full potential it would dwarf American Express as a company for example and as I have said to Westpac bank I have the potential to change your w to an m

Like this is really huge for me and nobody has said to me what I am doing seems to be a delusion so I keep doing it

[Sehnsucht]

@Sandellma ,

Welcome to the forums!

I speak from my experience, but delusions for me are not an overnight development. Some of my past ones were years in the making before culminating in my lack of self-care. 

Many people cherry-pick information, ideas, facts, to feed or justify their position on any one topic. It is common, which to me suggests it is something that requires being conscious of. So it is hard to fight delusions, as the ways of thinking that combat them aren't readily practiced or taught by the majority.
This is my observation, and I don't have much to support it. Perhaps this line of thought is itself delusional. I don't really know, I have seen too many insults to logic this last month regarding local community behaviours and wider news events. Ironically, in the face of it all, feeling like I have more logic and knowledge of empirical data to support my position,  I find myself pushing back invasive thoughts of 'uh-oh, well this shiz isn't real, there must be a more complete reality somewhere, my eyes are closed to truths through conditioning', or 'well.... this all feels rather centred on me and too full of coincidences. Truman Show? Matrix? Experiment?'.

So I guess I'm saying my experience is that delusions don't formulate and rally around in my brain overnight, and as such, they don't just dissipate the next morning after finallly taking on that the logic is flawed, or that I am suffering too much with the burden of the 'truth' and want to walk away back into 'blissfull innocence'. It takes work, conscious effort. It was really stressful challenging my escalated delusions, it felt insulting, ridiculous, for me I felt led to seeing life as an inception of delusions, the fight against delusion a dellusion itself and so on. But over time, life being what it is, habits and routine, I found my way out of the limbo and into functioning without intentional thought and with what feels geniune emotion and response. For a long time I felt that sense of 'well, what happened there was ridiculous!' rather than 'my life before my awakening was so ridiculous, I can't imagine living like that!'. But I don't know if it's politics or parenting or if it's just a 15 year cycle for me, I'm feeling a bit detached and disillusioned with 'reality' of late.

What strategies do your psychs offer? x

[Sehnsucht]

@Sandellma
Welcome to the forums!

I speak from my experience, but delusions for me are not an overnight development. Some of my past ones were years in the making before culminating in my lack of self-care. 

Many people cherry-pick information, ideas, facts, to feed or justify their position on any one topic. It is common, which to me suggests it is't something that requires being conscious of. So it is hard to fight delusions, as the ways of thinking that combat them aren't readily practiced or taught by the majority.
This is my observation, and I don't have much to support it. Perhaps this line of thought is itself delusional. I don't really know, I have seen too many insults to logic this last month regarding local community behaviours and wider news events. Ironically, in the face of it all, feeling like I have more logic and knowledge of empirical data to support my position,  I find myself pushing back invasive thoughts of 'uh-oh, well this shiz isn't real, there must be a more complete reality somewhere, my eyes are closed to truths through conditioning', or 'well.... this all feels rather centred on me and too full of coincidences. Truman Show? Matrix? Experiment?'.

So I guess I'm saying my experience is that delusions don't formulate and rally around in my brain overnight, and as such, they don't just dissipate the next morning after finallly taking on that the logic is flawed, or that I am suffering too much with the burden of the 'truth' and want to walk away back into 'blissfull innocence'. It takes work, conscious effort. It was really stressful challenging my escalated delusions, it felt insulting, ridiculous, for me I felt led to seeing life as an inception of delusions, the fight against delusion a dellusion itself and so on. But over time, life being what it is, habits and routine, I found my way out of the limbo and into functioning without intentional thought and with what feels geniune emotion and response. For a long time I felt that sense of 'well, what happened there was ridiculous!' rather than 'my life before my awakening was so ridiculous, I can't imagine living like that!'. But I don't know if it's politics or parenting or if it's just a 15 year cycle for me, I'm feeling a bit detached and disillusioned with 'reality' of late.

What strategies do your psychs work through with you? x

[Sehnsucht]

@Sandellma , oh! The "I'm an untapped potential" delusion, lol.  I'm going to be a world renknown and amazing literary presence one day, you know. That's if I don't take up an instrument or sinignig first, because I hold on to the delusion that I will be a famous musician with an incredible voice. It is both laughable but true for me at the same time. I rationalise it is nonsense, but in the pit of my stomach I 'know' it to be true.

But if you have others verifying the legitimacy of your idea, maybe it is great? Or do you worry these 'supportive' interactions have been hallucinations? x

[Snuchu]

In my experience, there are many occasions when I don't realize that my delusion is actually a delusion. It's reality to me. I believed that certain people were watching me and were out to get me, at least in the beginning. Further into my delusion, it started to get complex and eventually they gained a name and I started to hear voices. Every time when I saw my mental health nurse, I told her everything and she gently told me that it was possibly not real and that I was showing symptoms of a delusional psychotic episode.

It's good that you realize it's a delusion, though. 

Just work with your psych about it. 

[Sandellma]

I think the hardest thing for me is when I have to ask people what they think about ideas

I have worked in the top end of computing chasing new product for a good while and also developing others

This means that as said sometimes thing just seem really really real and when people always say the idea is great it seems to me therefore I am not having a delusion

The major thing is though I always look at how big the idea can get and like I also have an idea that everyone thinks is great around space travel

It is weird but watching it I know I could make some very massive companies as I have worked in some and seen how they achieved it