Lived Experience Forum

[merdasdasd]

I really have no clue what's wrong with my brain. I feel like during a conversation my mind goes blank. 

It's just blank and I have nothing of value to add and don't know to respond to questions. This happens with everyone (even with people I trust). 

It causes havoc in trying to make friendships because people confuse it as:

1.boredom in a conversation

2. social awkardness (maybe)

3. Disinterest in the person being talked to 

Like when I'm talking to someone on the phone or in real life, sometimes I need a few minutes or 5 minutes just to come up with something to say to break the silence. 

P.S. I have social anxiety. 

[CherryBomb]

Hi @merdasdasd,

Mental blocks when your mind goes blank can be anxiety provoking in itself, which, in turn can worsen the the mental blocks, which can create a feedback loop. Can I ask how long things have been like this? Do you have supports like a counsellor or psychologist?

I also want to say thanks for talking about your experience. It takes a lot of guts to share what you're going through.

CB

[merdasdasd]

4 years

I've seen a few counsellors but I still can't kick those mental blocks

[Appleblossom]

@CherryBomb point about the feed back loop is important ...

I experienced a similar blankness a great deal growing up. I just didnt have anything I knew about that was relevant to my social world.  So I was just quiet on the edges. Whenever I did volunteer something it was usually just laughed at.  I moved on got a job, travelled.  Travelling overseas for a year was the first place that I had actual conversations with people ... mostly polite and interested ... BECAUSE they didnt make assumptions but just shared from different points of view but with respect ...

Now I can have conversations ... I try not to make them too long and gently keep moving ... most people dont want to rattle on too much ... tho sometimes "friends" seem to expect a lot ... make sure conversation goes both ways ... your interests and points of view are just as valid as the next person.

I know it is hard to start conversing .. I needed singing to keep the vocalising connected and eventually after years began having more "social" type of conversations.   Good Luck ... dont compromise yourself too much ... a conversation takes two ... you have rights in it too.

[PeppiPatty]

Thanks for the thread @merdasdasd wow I agree with @CherryBomb

I'm nearing 50 and have had this problem all my life. I wonder if we can all work together at ...... Things to say or something .......

We need heaps of support
How about ' just a minute while I clear my thought process .....'

[sanfran]

Or you could say 'sorry, I just had a mental blank then'. Sometimes just saying what is going on for you can open up opportunities for others to share their own glitches and anxieties.

The more I've done this, the more genuine connections I've made with people.

I've been judged at times for being too self deprecating and of course there are some who are not going to engage, but I have learned to have an internal chuckle at people's responses when  I recognize their discomfort comes from their own anxieties!!!

[Former-Member]

I say I'm having a brain fade and try to make it a bit of a joke and then run away lol

[Appleblossom]

I was frequently tongue-tied or had mental blanks...but then noticed others talking casually about their "senior moments"

I say "I started off with alzheimers when I was young and as I age I'm getting better"

[PeppiPatty]

@sanfran it's good to thee you
That's a good idea
But I'm usually so tongue tied I can't get anything out
But ille try that idea

[CherryBomb]

hey @merdasdasd

Did anything happen 4 years ago when they started?

CB