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Re: Advice on sleep deprivation

Thanks for checking in with me @TuxedoCat 

 

Things went fairly smoothly last night, considering circumstances. He didn't need double dose of sedative in the end & was able to calm himself, after single dose.

 

I am sure that receiving the incredible support & insight from this post yesterday, absolutely contributed to the calm & positive vibes in our household.

 

I have had so many thoughts running through my mind (maybe too many - that's ok it will calm down in time) mostly regarding what my role is & how to best support him & me. I think it was confronting to realise his current professional care is possibly inadequate.

 

It certainly provides a possible explanation as to why we keep facing the same issues, regardless of my best efforts. Not to direct blame - the overall situation is blameless. 

 

I simply cannot express, the impact that being supported on here by both you , @Youareworthy & others, has had. Feeling recognised by @Youareworthy has given me endurance & helped make direction clearer. I feel like I have more patience with my friend, & he responds with so much gratitude & kindness in his overall energy.

 

My mental health, like anyone's, is not always an A+ ! Generally, I am ok & basically stable. For someone like him, experiencing  mental/emotional stability, or positive mental well-being is a moment by moment war. It is too much for any one person to endure, or support. When I am able to show him greater encouragement, patience, kindness - I know it brings him closer to a place of calm in his mind, that is very rarely experienced. It is difficult to put into words. Your help, kindness provides ripples.

 

So, with this new(ish) outlook & information, I have been able to make some loose plans about how I want to proceed. 

 

I began logging sleep/eating details last night. I will also add things like meds, maybe moods & I think importantly, what implementations I have had to provide as means to encourage him towards heath 

 

I plan to write these details for the next 2 weeks. I haven't let him know I'm doing it yet - it feels a bit intrusive - I will discuss it with him as I get more comfortable. It's not hidden either.

 

At end of 2 weeks, initially I will go through it with him. My goal being to help provide some awareness. I want to use this 'segway' to begin to discuss his own personal responsibility in maintaining his own health. I expect his immediate response will be all sorts of deflecting. That's ok. I know he's not stupid, & will understand very clearly what I'm saying. The main point is to let it be a subject. I don't need him to magically change overnight (although ...🤔)

 

Proceeding from there, my next idea is to either make an appt to see his case manager, or/& possibly psychiatrist. I would like to show them the 2 weeks worth of notes, in hopes of giving them better insight into his needs. Explain my concerns that he is being undertreated. Explain that his best chance in this life, is to be provided treatment with the mindset that I should never be factored into, or relied upon as part of his recovery, from a medical perspective, if that is what has been happening. That is very wordy!

 

I realise that I am definitely going way above & beyond what would be expected of me. I don't feel completely secure that this is correct way to proceed yet. It's a plan. 

 

It tends to scare me when I get too overly involved like this. However, I know that taking a wobbly step now, might in fact enable me to fly later on, once all the excess weight is able (if it's able) to be released.

 

 

Thankyou for reading❤️

 

I welcome any thoughts or feedback, or objective opinions. I know it's a lot! I'm totally fine with no reply as well.

 

Sending hugs, positive vibes, pure light !😊 xx

 

 

 

Re: Advice on sleep deprivation

Hugs @maddison - you're such an awesome friend 🙂 

Re: Advice on sleep deprivation

Thankyou @tyme 🙂 hugs for you too xx

Re: Advice on sleep deprivation

Hello @tyme @Youareworthy @TuxedoCat 

 

How are you all?

I am a older since we last chatted..A Grand final birthday - I turned 45😱... It's good😊 will take me a moment to get used to it.

 

I wanted to update my situation. I have returned home now, after being to Officeworks to print photocopies & then hand in around 20 page document to my friend's Mental health care facility.

 

I printed out 3 copies. 1 for myself, 1 for his case manager & 1 for his treating psychiatrist.

 

It has been an intense long weekend. I tried to document my friends sleep & diet issues, over period of 5 days. I decided that was sufficient, to give his nurse/dr a general insight. 2 weeks worth would likely be too overwhelming to read. It was also quite draining on me to document.

 

I included a 3 page Introduction. This outlined my intentions in providing info, such as concerns about him being under-treated & my needs to take a step back as his support person after 10+ (we have known each other for 20) years of being his primary central resource.

 

I outlined, what I believed were his most significant issues that need to be addressed. I listed 8 things that I think were of significant importance & require more intense professional attention.

 

I emphasised that this was not about blame & that part of what I wrote was me venting. I added that sharing my perspective was potentially valuable in offering insight as to how things are seen from a 'non-professional' viewpoint.

 

Lastly, I concluded with 2 pages of Ideas/Implementations. I explained these were merely brainstorming, potential remedies. I mentioned my awareness that its probably impossible to implement all, however if only half could be achieved, it could still potentially improve our lives considerably.

I included ideas, not only for my friend, but for all patients & how their position may be made easier. One of my suggestions, that might of interest was that more peer workers be available & involved in patient care😊 My personal perspective is that peer workers hold a very unique & powerful position - as you probably already know!

 

On the drive home, I was surprised I started tearing up in the car. It felt like a big mix of emotions. Relief, fear, sadness, strength, letting go.

 

 

I haven't ever done anything like this before.

 

I am intrinsically fearful of questioning & asserting myself with authority. I am frightened my actions will backfire & they will see me as a problem or instigator. I am scared that my friend will incur the consequences of my actions.

 

I guess, if I sense the tiniest fraction that this is occurring - then I have the option to take my concerns higher..... Or sit back & do nothing!! Change & advocacy is confronting I have found.

 

 

If you feel at all proud of my accomplishments, & I think I definitely do - I want you to feel equally, or more proud of yourself for helping me. @tyme @Youareworthy @TuxedoCat  I would never have been this brave without your help & guidance.

 

Let's hope my friend can enjoy the rest of his life & not suffer as he has all these years.

 

It is up to him to make the choice to want more. His support networks are being strengthened.

 

 

******.     *******.  *******. *****

 

I might need a couple of days to reset. I feel good & calm👍 I might not be as active on the forums this week. Then again - the forums can be my safe place.

 

 

Thanks for reading & being there for me & my friend. esp @Youareworthy  You sound like the type of person I would love to be friends with too.

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Advice on sleep deprivation

@tyme @TuxedoCat @Youareworthy if anyone has a moment to offer quick honest feedback, I would appreciate it 

 

I feel like I've done the right thing. I certainly didn't write anything even close to abusive, or even controversial.

 

When I stated that it was 20 pages - I perhaps should have mentioned it was hand written. If it was typed up, maybe 3 or 4 pages.

 

I think regardless if people's egos are bruised - communication is important. If they are professional at their job, they would welcome my experience & insight.

 

Feeling uneasy & curious at the reaction, (from health staff) if any - I'm out of my comfort zone 

 

Thanks.

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